"What are its disadvantages?" was the question that rose in my mind----and, as usual, Bruno asked it for
me. "What are its lizard bandages?'
"Well, this is one of them," said the Professor. "When a man's tipsy (that's one extreme, you know), he
sees one thing as two. But, when he's extremely sober (that's the other extreme), he sees two things as
one. It's equally inconvenient, whichever happens.
"What does 'illconvenient' mean?" Bruno whispered to Sylvie.
"The difference between 'convenient' and 'inconvenient' is best explained by an example," said the Other
Professor, who had overheard the question. "If you'll just think over any Poem that contains the two
words----such as----"
The Professor put his hands over his ears, with a look of dismay. "If you once let him begin a Poem," he
said to Sylvie, "he'll never leave off again! He never does!"
"Did he ever begin a Poem and not leave off again?" Sylvie enquired.
"Three times," said the Professor.
Bruno raised himself on tiptoe, till his lips were on a level with Sylvie's ear. "What became of them three
Poems?" he whispered. "Is he saying them all, now?"
"Hush!" said Sylvie. "The Other Professor is speaking!"
"I'll say it very quick," murmured the Other Professor, with downcast eyes, and melancholy voice, which
contrasted oddly with his face, as he had forgotten to leave off smiling. ("At least it wasn't exactly a
smile," as Sylvie said afterwards: "it looked as if his mouth was made that shape."
"Go on then," said the Professor. "What must be must be."
"Remember that!" Sylvie whispered to Bruno, "It's a very good rule for whenever you hurt yourself."
"And it's a very good rule for whenever I make a noise," said the saucy little fellow. "So you remember it
too, Miss!"
"Whatever do you mean?" said Sylvie, trying to frown, a thing she never managed particularly well.
"Oftens and oftens," said Bruno, "haven't oo told me ' There mustn't be so much noise, Bruno!' when I've
tolded oo 'There must!' Why, there isn't no rules at all about 'There mustn't'! But oo never believes me!"
"As if any one could believe you, you wicked wicked boy!" said Sylvie. The words were severe enough,
but I am of opinion that, when you are really anxious to impress a criminal with a sense of his guilt, you
ought not to pronounce the sentence with your lips quite close to his cheek----since a kiss at the end of
it, however accidental, weakens the effect terribly.