Chapter 12

There were other papers rolled up, and I asked him what they were. ‘Why, ay,’ says he, ‘that’s the question I wanted to have you ask me’; so he unrolls them and takes out a little Chagreen Case, and gives me out of it a very fine diamond ring. I could not refuse it, if I had a mind to do so, for he put it upon my finger; so I made him a curtsy and accepted it. Then he takes out another ring: ‘And this,’ says he, ‘is for another occasion,’ so he puts that in his pocket. ‘Well, but let me see it, though,’ says I, and smiled; ‘I guess what it is; I think you are mad.’ ‘I should have been mad if I had done less,’ says he, and still he did not show me, and I had a great mind to see it; so I says, ‘Well, but let me see it.’ ‘Hold,’ says he, ‘first look here’; then he took up the roll again and read it, and behold! it was a License for us to be married. ‘Why,’ says I, ‘are you distracted? Why, you were fully satisfied that I would comply and yield at first word, or resolved to take no denial.’ ‘The last is certainly the case,’ said he. ‘But you may be mistaken,’ said I. ‘No, no,’ says he, ‘how can you think so? I must not be denied, I can’t be denied’; and with that he fell to kissing me so violently, I could not get rid of him.

There was a bed in the room, and we were walking to and again, eager in the discourse; at last he takes me by surprise in his arms, and threw me on the bed and himself with me, and holding me fast in his arms, but without the least offer of any indecency, courted me to consent with such repeated entreaties and arguments, protesting his affection, and vowing he would not let me go till I had promised him, that at last I said, ‘Why, you resolve not to be denied, indeed, I can’t be denied.’ ‘Well, well,’ said I, and giving him a slight kiss, ‘then you shan’t be denied,’ said I; ‘let me get up.’

He was so transported with my consent, and the kind manner of it, that I began to think once he took it for a marriage, and would not stay for the form; but I wronged him, for he gave over kissing me, and then giving me two or three kisses again, thanked me for my kind yielding to him; and was so overcome with the satisfaction and joy of it, that I saw tears stand in his eyes.

I turned from him, for it filled my eyes with tears too, and I asked him leave to retire a little to my chamber. If ever I had a grain of true repentance for a vicious and abominable life for twenty-four years past, it was then. On, what a felicity is it to mankind, said I to myself, that they cannot see into the hearts of one another! How happy had it been for me if I had been wife to a man of so much honesty, and so much affection from the beginning!

Then it occurred to me, ‘What an abominable creature am I! and how is this innocent gentleman going to be abused by me! How little does he think, that having divorced a whore, he is throwing himself into the arms of another! that he is going to marry one that has lain with two brothers, and has had three children by her own brother! one that was born in Newgate, whose mother was a whore, and is now a transported thief! one that has lain with thirteen men, and has had a child since he saw me! Poor gentleman!’ said I, ‘what is he going to do?’ After this reproaching myself was over, it following thus: ‘Well, if I must be his wife, if it please God to give me grace, I’ll be a true wife to him, and love him suitably to the strange excess of his passion for me; I will make him amends if possible, by what he shall see, for the cheats and abuses I put upon him, which he does not see.’

He was impatient for my coming out of my chamber, but finding me long, he went downstairs and talked with my landlord about the parson.

My landlord, an officious though well-meaning fellow, had sent away for the Neighbouring clergyman; and when my gentleman began to speak of it to him, and talk of sending for him, ‘Sir,’ says he to him, ‘my friend is in the house’; so without any more words he brought them together. When he came to the minister, he asked him if he would venture to marry a couple of strangers that were both willing. The parson said that Mr.— had said something to him of it; that he hoped it was no clandestine business; that he seemed to be a grave gentleman, and he supposed madam was not a girl, so that the consent of friends should be wanted. ‘To put you out of doubt of that,’ says my gentleman, ‘read this paper’; and out he pulls the license. ‘I am satisfied,’ says the minister; ‘where is the lady?’ ‘You shall see her presently,’ says my gentleman.


  By PanEris using Melati.

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