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Five-and-Twenty A frequently recurring doubt, whether Mr Panckss desire to collect information relative to the Dorrit family could have any possible bearing on the misgivings he had imparted to his mother on his return from his long exile, caused Arthur Clennam much uneasiness at this period. What Mr Pancks already knew about the Dorrit family, what more he really wanted to find out, and why he should trouble his busy head about them at all, were questions that often perplexed him. Mr Pancks was not a man to waste his time and trouble in researches prompted by idle curiosity. That he had a specific object Clennam could not doubt. And whether the attainment of that object by Mr Panckss industry might bring to light, in some untimely way, secret reasons which had induced his mother to take Little Dorrit by the hand, was a serious speculation. Not that he ever wavered either in his desire or his determination to repair a wrong that had been done in his fathers time, should a wrong come to light, and be reparable. The shadow of a supposed act of injustice, which had hung over him since his fathers death, was so vague and formless that it might be the result of a reality widely remote from his idea of it. But, if his apprehensions should prove to be well founded, he was ready at any moment to lay down all he had, and begin the world anew. As the fierce dark teaching of his childhood had never sunk into his heart, so that first article in his code of morals was, that he must begin, in practical humility, with looking well to his feet on Earth, and that he could never mount on wings of words to Heaven. Duty on earth, restitution on earth, action on earth; these first, as the first steep steps upward. Strait was the gate and narrow was the way; far straiter and narrower than the broad high road paved with vain professions and vain repetitions, motes from other mens eyes and liberal delivery of others to the judgmentall cheap materials costing absolutely nothing. No. It was not a selfish fear or hesitation that rendered him uneasy, but a mistrust lest Pancks might not observe his part of the understanding between them, and, making any discovery, might take some course upon it without imparting it to him. On the other hand, when he recalled his conversation with Pancks, and the little reason he had to suppose that there was any likelihood of that strange personage being on that track at all, there were times when he wondered that he made so much of it. Labouring in this sea, as all barks labour in cross seas, he tossed about and came to no haven. The removal of Little Dorrit herself from their customary association, did not mend the matter. She was so much out, and so much in her own room, that he began to miss her and to find a blank in her place. He had written to her to inquire if she were better, and she had written back, very gratefully and earnestly telling him not to be uneasy on her behalf, for she was quite well; but he had not seen her, for what, in their intercourse, was a long time. He returned home one evening from an interview with her father, who had mentioned that she was out visitingwhich was what he always said when she was hard at work to buy his supperand found Mr Meagles in an excited state walking up and down his room. On his opening the door, Mr Meagles stopped, faced round, and said: Clennam!Tattycoram! Whats the matter? Lost! Why, bless my heart alive! cried Clennam in amazement. What do you mean? Wouldnt count five-and-twenty, sir; couldnt be got to do it; stopped at eight, and took herself off. Left your house? Never to come back, said Mr Meagles, shaking his head. You dont know that girls passionate and proud character. A team of horses couldnt draw her back now; the bolts and bars of the old Bastille couldnt keep her. |
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