Chapter 26

The hottest horse will oft be cool,
The dullest will show fire;
The friar will often play the fool,
The fool will play the friar.
       –Old Song.

When the Jester, arrayed in the cowl and frock of the hermit, and having his knotted cord twisted round his middle, stood before the portal of the castle of Front-de-Bœuf, the warder demanded of him his name and errand.

Pax vobiscum,” answered the Jester. “I am a poor brother of the Order of St. Francis, who come hither to do my office to certain unhappy prisoners now secured within this castle.”

“Thou art a bold friar,” said the warder, “to come hither, where, saving our own drunken confessor, a cock of thy feather hath not crowed these twenty years.”

“Yet, I pray thee, do mine errand to the lord of the castle,” answered the pretended friar; “trust me it will find good acceptance with him, and the cock shall crow, that the whole castle shall hear him.”

“Gramercy,” said the warder; “but if I come to shame for leaving my post upon thine errand, I will try whether a friar’s gray gown be proof against a gray-goose shaft.”

With this threat he left his turret, and carried to the hall of the castle his unwonted intelligence, that a holy friar stood before the gate and demanded instant admission. With no small wonder he received his master’s commands to admit the holy man immediately; and, having previously manned the entrance to guard against surprise, he obeyed, without further scruple, the commands which he had received. The harebrained self-conceit which had emboldened Wamba to undertake this dangerous office was scarce sufficient to support him when he found himself in the presence of a man so dreadful, and so much dreaded, as Reginald Front-de-Bœuf, and he brought out his paxvobiscum, to which he, in a good measure, trusted for supporting his character, with more anxiety and hesitation than had hitherto accompanied it. But Front-de-Bœuf was accustomed to see men of all ranks tremble in his presence, so that the timidity of the supposed father did not give him any cause of suspicion. “Who and whence art thou, priest?” said he.

Pax vobiscum,” reiterated the Jester. “I am a poor servant of St. Francis, who, travelling through this wilderness, have fallen among thieves (as Scripture hath it), quidam viator incidit in latrones, which thieves have sent me unto this castle in order to do my ghostly office on two persons condemned by your honourable justice.”

“Ay, right,” answered Front-de-Bœuf; “and canst thou tell me, holy father, the number of those banditti?”

“Gallant sir,” answered the Jester, “nomen illis legio, their name is legion.”

“Tell me in plain terms what numbers there are, or, priest, thy cloak and cord will ill protect thee.”

“Alas!” said the supposed friar, “cor meum eructavit, that is to say, I was like to burst with fear! but I conceive they may be—what of yeomen, what of commons—at least five hundred men.”

“What!” said the Templar, who came into the hall that moment, “muster the wasps so thick here? it is time to stifle such a mischievous brood.” Then taking Front-de-Bœuf aside, “Knowest thou the priest?”

“He is a stranger from a distant convent,” said Front-de-Bœuf; “I know him not.”

“Then trust him not with thy purpose in words,” answered the Templar. “Let him carry a written order to De Bracy’s company of Free Companions, to repair instantly to their master’s aid. In the meantime, and that the shaveling may suspect nothing, permit him to go freely about his task of preparing these Saxon hogs for the slaughter-house.”


  By PanEris using Melati.

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