Tertium Quid
Though she’s not dead yet, she’s as good as stretched
Symmetrical beside the other two;
Though he’s not judged yet, he’s the same as judged,
So do the facts abound and superabound:
And nothing hinders, now, we lift the case
Out of the shade into the shine, allow
Qualified persons to pronounce at last,
Nay, edge in an authoritative word
Between this rabble’s-brabble of dolts and fools (10)
Who make up reasonless unreasoning Rome.
“Now for the Trial!” they roar: “the Trial to test
“The truth, weigh husband and weigh wife alike
“I’ the scales of law, make one scale kick the beam!”
Law’s a machine from which, to please the mob,
Truth the divinity must needs descend
And clear things at the play’s fifth act—aha!
Hammer into their noddles who was who
And what was what. I tell the simpletons
“Could law be competent to such a feat (20)
“’Twere done already: what begins next week
“Is end o’ the Trial, last link of a chain
“Whereof the first was forged three years ago
“When law addressed herself to set wrong right,
“And proved so slow in taking the first step
“That ever some new grievance,—tort, retort,
“On one or the other side,—o’ertook i’ the game,
“Retarded sentence, till this deed of death
“Is thrown in, as it were, last bale to boat
“Crammed to the edge with cargo—or passengers? (30)
“‘Trecentos inseris: ohe, jam satis est!
“‘Huc appelle!’—passengers, the word must be.”
Long since, the boat was loaded to my eyes.
To hear the rabble and brabble, you’d call the case
Fused and confused past human finding out.
One calls the square round, t’other the round square—
And pardonably in that first surprise
O’ the blood that fell and splashed the diagram:
But now we’ve used our eyes to the violent hue
Can’t we look through the crimson and trace lines? (40)
It makes a man despair of history,
Eusebius and the established fact—fig’s end!
Oh, give the fools their Trial, rattle away
With the leash of lawyers, two on either side—
One barks, one bites,—Masters Arcangeli
And Spreti,—that’s the husband’s ultimate hope
Against the Fisc and the other kind of Fisc,
Bound to do barking for the wife: bow—wow!
Why, Excellency, we and his Highness here
Would settle the matter as sufficiently (50)
As ever will Advocate This and Fiscal That
And Judge the Other, with even—a word and a wink—
We well know who for ultimate arbiter.
Let us beware o’ the basset-table—lest
We jog the elbow of Her Eminence,
Jostle his cards,—he’ll rap you out a . . st!
By the window-seat! And here’s the Marquis too!
Indulge me but a moment: if I fail
—Favoured with such an audience, understand!—
To set things right, why, class me with the mob (60)
As understander of the mind of man!
Bethink you that you have to deal with plebs,
The commonalty; this is an episode
In burgess-life,—why seek to aggrandise,
Idealise, denaturalise the class?
People talk just as if they had to do
With a noble pair that … Excellency, your ear!
Stoop to me, Highness,—listen and look yourselves!
At Rome in the easy way that’s far from worst
Even for their betters,—themselves love themselves,
Spend their own oil in feeding their own lamp
That their own faces may grow bright thereby.
They get to fifty and over: how’s the lamp?
Full to the depth o’ the wick,—moneys so much;
And also with a remnant,—so much more
Of moneys,—which there’s no consuming now,
But, when the wick shall moulder out some day,
Failing fresh twist of tow to use up dregs, (80)
Will lie a prize for the passer-by,—to-wit
Any one that can prove himself the heir,
Seeing the couple are wanting in a child:
Meantime their wick swims in the safe broad bowl
O’ the middle rank,—not raised a beacon’s height
For wind to ravage, nor swung till lamp graze ground
As watchman’s cresset, he pokes here and there,
Going his rounds to probe the ruts i’ the road
Or fish the luck o’ the puddle. Pietro’s soul
Was satisfied when crony smirked, “No wine (90)
“Like Pietro’s, and he drinks it every day!”
His wife’s heart swelled her boddice, joyed its fill
When neighbours turned heads wistfully at church,
Sighed at the load of lace that came to pray.
Well, having got through fifty years of flare,
They burn out so, indulge so their dear selves,
That Pietro finds himself in debt at last,
As he were any lordling of us all:
And, for the dark begins to creep on day,
Creditors grow uneasy, talk aside, (100)
Take counsel, then importune all at once.
For if the good fat rosy careless man,
Who has not laid a ducat by, decease—
Let the lamp fall, no heir at hand to catch—
Why, being childless, there’s a spilth i’ the street
O’ the remnant, there’s a scramble for the dregs
By the stranger: so, they grant him no longer day
But come in a body, clamour to be paid.
The customary largess, dole dealt out (110)
To what we call our “poor dear shame-faced ones,”
In secret once a month to spare the shame
O’ the slothful and the spendthrift,—pauper-saints
The Pope puts meat i’ the mouth of, ravens they,
And providence he—just what the mob admires!
That is, instead of putting a prompt foot
On selfish worthless human slugs whose
| Previous chapter | Back | Home | Email this | Search | Discuss | Bookmark | Next chapter/page |