To right me if I fail to take my right.
No more of law; a voice beyond the law
Enters my heart, Quis est pro Domino?
To my own serving-people summoned there:
Told the first half of it, scarce heard to end
By judges who got done with judgment quick
And clamoured to go execute her ’hest—
Who cried “Not one of us that dig your soil
“And dress your vineyard, prune your olive-trees,
“But would have brained the man debauched our wife,
“And staked the wife whose lust allured the man,
“And paunched the Duke, had it been possible,
“Who ruled the land, yet barred us such revenge!” (1560)
I fixed on the first whose eyes caught mine, some four,
Resolute youngsters with the heart still fresh,
Filled my purse with the residue o’ the coin
Uncaught-up by my wife whom haste made blind,
Donned the first rough and rural garb I found,
Took whatsoever weapon came to hand,
And out we flung and on we ran or reeled
Romeward, I have no memory of our way,
Only that, when at intervals the cloud
Of horror about me opened to let in life, (1570)
I listened to some song in the ear, some snatch
Of a legend, relic of religion, stray
Fragment of record very strong and old
Of the first conscience, the anterior right,
The God’s-gift to mankind, impulse to quench
The antagonistic spark of hell and tread
Satan and all his malice into dust,
Declare to the world the one law, right is right.
Then the cloud re-encompassed me, and so
I found myself, as on the wings of winds, (1580)
Arrived: I was at Rome on Christmas Eve.
Joy upon earth, peace and good will to man!
I am baptised. I started and let drop
The dagger. “Where is it, His promised peace?”
Nine days o’ the Birth-Feast did I pause and pray
To enter into no temptation more.
I bore the hateful house, my brother’s once,
Deserted,—let the ghost of social joy
Mock and make mouths at me from empty room (1590)
And idle door that missed the master’s step,—
Bore the frank wonder of incredulous eyes,
As my own people watched without a word,
Waited, from where they huddled round the hearth
Black like all else, that nod so slow to come—
I stopped my ears even to the inner call
Of the dread duty, heard only the song
“Peace upon earth,” saw nothing but the face
O’ the Holy Infant and the halo there
Able to cover yet another face (1600)
Behind it, Satan’s which I else should see.
But, day by day, joy waned and withered off:
The Babe’s face, premature with peak and pine,
Sank into wrinkled ruinous old age,
Suffering and death, then mist-like disappeared,
And showed only the Cross at end of all,
Left nothing more to interpose ’twixt me
And the dread duty,—for the angel’s song,
“Peace upon earth,” louder and louder pealed
“O Lord, how long, how long be unavenged?” (1610)
On the ninth day, this grew too much for man.
I started up—“Some end must be!” At once,
Silence: then, scratching like a death-watch-tick,
Slowly within my brain was syllabled,
“One more concession, one decisive way
“And but one, to determine thee the truth,—
“This way, in fine, I whisper in thy ear:
“Now doubt, anon decide, thereupon act!”
“I doubt, I will decide, then act,” said I— (1620)
Then beckoned my companions: “Time is come!”
To do right, and the daring aught save leave
Right undone, I did find myself at last
I’ the dark before the villa with my friends,
And made the experiment, the final test,
Ultimate chance that ever was to be
For the wretchedness inside. I knocked—pronounced
The name, the predetermined touch for truth,
“What welcome for the wanderer? Open straight—” (1630)
To the friend, physician, friar upon his rounds,
Traveller belated, beggar lame and blind?—
No, but—“to Caponsacchi!” And the door
Opened.
I’ the minute that confirmed my worst of fears,
Surely,—I pray God that I think aright!—
Had but Pompilia’s self, the tender thing
Who once was good and pure, was once my lamb
And lay in my bosom, had the well-known shape (1640)
Fronted me in the door-way,—stood there faint
With the recent pang, perhaps, of giving birth
To what might, though by miracle, seem my child,—
Nay more, I will say, had even the aged fool
Pietro, the dotard, in whom folly and age
Wrought, more than enmity or malevolence,
To practise and conspire against my peace,—
Had either of these but opened, I had paused.
But it was she the hag, she that brought hell
For a dowry with her to her husband’s house, (1650)
She the mock-mother, she that made the match
And married me to perdition, spring and source
O’ the fire inside me that boiled up from heart
To brain and hailed the Fury gave it birth,—
Violante Comparini, she it was,
With the old grin amid the wrinkles yet,
Opened: as if in turning from the Cross,
With trust to
| Previous chapter/page | Back | Home | Email this | Search | Discuss | Bookmark | Next chapter/page |