I don’t hear much of harm that Malchus did
After the incident of the ear, my lords!
Saint Peter took the efficacious way;
Malchus was sore but silenced for his life: (970)
He did not hang himself i’ the Potter’s Field
Like Judas, who was trusted with the bag
And treated to sops after he proved a thief.
So, by this time, my true and obedient wife
Might have been telling beads with a gloved hand;
Awkward a little at pricking hearts and darts
On sampler possibly, but well otherwise:
Not where Rome shudders now to see her lie.
I give that for the course a wise man takes;
I took the other however, tried the fool’s, (980)
The lighter remedy, brandished rapier dread
With cork-ball at the tip, boxed Malchus’ ear
Instead of severing the cartilage,
Called her a terrible nickname, and the like
And there an end: and what was the end of that?
What was the good effect o’ the gentle course?
Why, one night I went drowsily to bed,
Dropped asleep suddenly, not suddenly woke,
But did wake with rough rousing and loud cry,
To find noon in my face, a crowd in my room, (990)
Fumes in my brain, fire in my throat, my wife
Gone God knows whither,—rifled vesture-chest,
And ransacked money-coffer. “What does it mean?”
The servants had been drugged too, stared and yawned.
“It must be that our lady has eloped!”
—“Whither and with whom?”—“With whom but the Canon’s self?
“One recognises Caponsacchi there!”—
(By this time the admiring neighbourhood
Joined chorus round me while I rubbed my eyes)
“’Tis months since their intelligence began,— (1000)
“A comedy the town was privy to,—
“He wrote and she wrote, she spoke, he replied,
“And going in and out your house last night
“Was easy work for one … to be plain with you …
“Accustomed to do both, at dusk and dawn
“When you were absent,—at the villa, you know,
“Where husbandry required the master-mind.
“Did not you know? Why, we all knew, you see!”
And presently, bit by bit, the full and true
Particulars of the tale were volunteered (1010)
With all the breathless zeal of friendship—“Thus
“Matters were managed: at the seventh hour of night”…
—“Later, at daybreak” … “Caponsacchi came” …
—“While you and all your household slept like death,
“Drugged as your supper was with drowsy stuff” …
—“And your own cousin Guillichini too—
“Either or both entered your dwelling-place,
“Plundered it at their pleasure, made prize of all,
“Including your wife …”—“Oh, your wife led the way,
“Out of doors, on to the gate …”—“But gates are shut,
“In a decent town, to darkness and such deeds: (1021)
“They climbed the wall—your lady must be lithe—
“At the gap, the broken bit …”—“Torrione, true!
“To escape the questioning guard at the proper gate,
“Clemente, where at the inn, hard by, ‘the Horse,’
“Just outside, a calash in readiness
“Took the two principals, all alone at last,
“To gate San Spirito, which o’erlooks the road,
“Leads to Perugia, Rome and liberty.”
Bit by bit thus made-up mosaic- wise, (1030)
Flat lay my fortune,—tesselated floor,
Imperishable tracery devils should foot
And frolic it on, around my broken gods,
Over my desecrated hearth.
For the terrible effect of threatening, Sirs!
Doctored and drenched, somewhat unpoisoned so;
Then, set on horseback and bid seek the lost,
I started alone, head of me, heart of me (1040)
Fire, and each limb as languid … ah, sweet lords,
Bethink you!—poison-torture, try persuade
The next refractory Molinist with that! …
Floundered thro’ day and night, another day
And yet another night, and so at last,
As Lucifer kept falling to find hell,
Tumbled into the court-yard of an inn
At the end, and fell on whom I thought to find,
Even Caponsacchi,—what part once was priest,
Cast to the winds now with the cassock-rags: (1050)
In cape and sword a cavalier confessed,
There stood he chiding dilatory grooms,
Chafing that only horseflesh and no team
Of eagles would supply the last relay,
Whirl him along the league, the one post more
Between the couple and Rome and liberty.
’Twas dawn, the couple were rested in a sort,
And though the lady, tired,—the tenderer sex,—
Still lingered in her chamber,—to adjust
The limp hair, look for any blush astray,— (1060)
She would descend in a twinkling,—“Have you out
“The horses therefore!”
Is the case complete? Do your eyes here see with mine?
Even the parties dared deny no one
Point out of all these points.
“Why, that then was the time,” you interpose,
“Or then or never, while the fact was fresh,
“To take the natural vengeance: there and thus (1070)
“They and you,—somebody had stuck a sword
“Beside you while he pushed you on your horse,—
“’Twas requisite to slay the couple, Count!”
Just so my friends say—“Kill!” they cry in a breath,
Who presently, when matters grow to a head
And I do kill the offending ones indeed,—
When crime of theirs, only surmised before,
Is patent, proved indisputably now,—
When remedy for wrong, untried at the time,
Which law professes shall not fail a friend, (1080)
Is
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