On Friends and Foes
i I am no Homer's hero you all know; I profess not generosity to a foe. My generosity is to my friends, That
for their friendship I may make amends. The generous to enemies promotes their ends, And becomes the
enemy and betrayer of his friends.
ii Anger and wrath my bosom rends: I thought them the errors of friends. But all my limbs with warmth
glow: I find them the errors of the foe.
iii If you play a game of chance, know, before you begin, If you are benevolent you will never win.
iv Of Hayley's birth Of H--'s birth this was the happy lot: His mother on his father him begot.
v On Hayley To forgive enemies H-- does pretend, Who never in his life forgave a friend, And when he
could not act upon my wife Hired a villain to bereave my life.
vi To Hayley Thy friendship oft has made my heart to ache: Do be my enemy -- for friendship's sake. vii On Hayley's Friendship When H--y finds out what you cannot do, That is the very thing he'll set you to; If
you break not your neck, 'tis not his fault; But pecks of poison are not pecks of salt.
viii On Hayley the Pickthank I write the rascal thanks, till he and I With thanks and compliments are quite
drawn dry.
ix My title as a genius thus is prov'd: Not prais'd by Hayley, nor by Flaxman lov'd.
x To Flaxman You call me mad, 'tis folly to do so, To seek to turn a madman to a foe. If you think as you
speak, you are an ass; If you do not, you are but what you was.
xi To Flaxman I mock thee not, though I by thee am mockèd; Thou call'st me madman, but I call thee
blockhead.
To Nancy Flaxman How can I help thy husband's copying me? Should that make difference 'twixt me and
thee?
xiii To Flaxman and Stothard I found them blind: I taught them how to see; And now they know neither
themselves nor me. 'Tis excellent to turn a thorn to a pin, A fool to a bolt, a knave to a glass of gin. xiv To Stothard You all your youth observ'd the golden rule, Till you're at last become the golden fool: I sport
with fortune, merry, blithe and gay, Like to the lion sporting with his prey. Take you the hide and horns
which you may wear, Mine is the flesh -- the bones may be your share.
xv Cromek speaks I always take my judgement from a fool Because his judgement is so very cool; Not
prejudiced by feelings great or small, Amiable state! he cannot feel at all.
xvi On Stothard You say reserve and modesty he has, Whose heart is iron, his head wood, and his face
brass. The fox, the owl, the beetle, and the bat By sweet reserve and modesty get fat.
xvii On Stothard S--, in childhood, on the nursery floor, Was extreme old and most extremely poor; He
has grown old, and rich, and what he will; He is extreme old, and extreme poor still.
xviii Mr. Stothard to Mr. Cromek For Fortune's favours you your riches bring, But Fortune says she gave
you no such thing Why should you be ungrateful to your friends,-- Sneaking and backbiting, and odds and
ends?
xix Mr. Cromek to Mr. Stothard Fortune favours the brave, old proverbs say; But not with money; that is
not the way. Turn back! turn back! you travel all in vain; Turn through the iron gate down Sneaking Lane. xx On Cromek Cr--loves artists as he loves his meat: He loves the Art; but 'tis the art to cheat.
xxi On Cromek A petty sneaking knave I knew-- O! Mr. Cr--, how do ye do?
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