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MNab had seen them kissing, often. He had taken them for a drive on the day of Mrs. Huttons death. He could see them reflected in the windscreen, sometimes out of the tail of his eye. The inquest was adjourned. That evening Doris went to bed with a headache. When he went to her room after dinner, Mr. Hutton found her crying. Whats the matter? He sat down on the edge of her bed and began to stroke her hair. For a long time she did not answer, and he went on stroking her hair mechanically, almost unconsciously; sometimes, even, he bent down and kissed her bare shoulder. He had his own affairs, however, to think about. What had happened? How was it that the stupid gossip had actually come true? Emily had died of arsenic poisoning. It was absurd, impossible. The order of things had been broken, and he was at the mercy of an irresponsibility. What had happened, what was going to happen? He was interrupted in the midst of his thoughts. Its my faultits my fault! Doris suddenly sobbed out. I shouldnt have loved you; I oughtnt to have let you love me. Why was I ever born? Mr. Hutton didnt say anything, but looked down in silence at the abject figure of misery lying on the bed. If they do anything to you I shall kill myself. She sat up, held him for a moment at arms length, and looked at him with a kind of violence, as though she were never to see him again. I love you, I love you, I love you. She drew him, inert and passive, towards her, clasped him, pressed herself against him. I didnt know you loved me as much as that, Teddy Bear. But why did you do itwhy did you do it? Mr. Hutton undid her clasping arms and got up. His face became very red. You seem to take it for granted that I murdered my wife, he said. Its really too grotesque. What do you all take me for? A cinema hero? He had begun to lose his temper. All the exasperation, all the fear and bewilderment of the day, was transformed into a violent anger against her. Its all such damned stupidity. Havent you any conception of a civilized mans mentality? Do I look the sort of man whod go about slaughtering people? I suppose you imagined I was so insanely in love with you that I could commit any folly. When will you women understand that one isnt insanely in love? All one asks for is a quiet life, which you wont allow one to have. I dont know what the devil ever induced me to marry you. It was all a damned stupid, practical joke. And now you go about saying Im a murderer. I wont stand it. Mr. Hutton stamped towards the door. He had said horrible things, he knew, odious things that he ought speedily to unsay. But he wouldnt. He closed the door behind him. Teddy Bear! He turned the handle; the latch clicked into place. Teddy Bear! The voice that came to him through the closed door was agonized. Should he go back? He ought to go back. He touched the handle, then withdrew his fingers and quickly walked away. When he was half-way down the stairs he halted. She might try to do something sillythrow herself out of the window or God knows what! He listened attentively; there was no sound. But he pictured her very clearly tiptoeing across the room, lifting the sash as high as it would go, leaning out into the cold night air. It was raining a little. Under the window lay the paved terrace. How far below? Twenty-five or thirty feet? Once, when he was walking along Piccadilly, a dog had jumped out of a third-storey window of the Ritz. He had seen it fall; he had heard it strike the pavement. Should he go back? He was damned if he would; he hated her. He sat for a long time in the library. What had happened? What was happening? He turned the question over and over in his mind and could find no answer. Suppose the nightmare dreamed itself out to its horrible conclusion. Death was waiting for him. His eyes filled with tears; he wanted so passionately |
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