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He strode hurriedly up and down the room, casting furtive glances at the bed. The night was quiet again, but still that cry rang through it. He recalled the theory that sound never dies. The waves of space had yielded this to him. Good God! he thought. Am I going to pieces. If I let this wretch, this criminal die, I save four people. If I let her live, I ruin their lives. The life of a man of brain and pride and heart; the life of a woman of beauty and intellect and honour; the lives of two children of unknown potentialities, for whom the world has now a warm heart. The greatest good of the greatest numberthe principle that governs civil law. Has not even the worthy individual been sacrificed to it again and again? Does it not hang the criminal dangerous to the community? And is that called murder? What am I at this moment but law epitomised? Shall I hesitate? My God, am I hesitating? Conscienceis it that? A superfluous instinct transmitted by my ancestors and coddled by a womanis it that which has sprung from its grave, rattling its bones? Conscience makesoh, shame that I should succumb when so much is at stakethat I should hesitate when the welfare of four human beings trembles in the balance! Consciencethat in the moment of my supreme power I should falter! He returned to the woman. He reached his finger toward her pulse, then hurriedly withdrew it and resumed his restless march. This is only a nightmare, born of the night and the horrible stillness. To-morrow in the world of men it will be forgotten, and I shall rejoice. But there will be recurring hours of stillness, of solitude. Will this night repeat itself? Will that thing on the bed haunt me? Will that cry shriek in my ears? Oh, shame on my selfishness! What am I thinking of? To let that base, degraded wretch exist, that I may live peaceably with my conscience? To let four others go to their ruin, that I may escape a few hours of torment? That IIshould come to this! The greatest good of the greatest number. The greatest Conscience makes cowards of us all! To his unutterable self-contempt and terror, he found his will for once powerless to control the work of the generations that had preceded him. His iron jaw worked spasmodically, his grey eyes looked frozen. The marble pallor of his face was suffused with a tingle of green. I despise myself! he exclaimed, with fierce emphasis. I loathe myself! I will not yield! Consciencethey shall be saved, and by me. The greatestI will maintain my intellectual supremacythat, if nothing else. She shall die! He halted. Perhaps she was already dead. He could reach the door in a bound and run downstairs and out of the house. To be followed He ran to the bed. The woman still breathed faintly; her mouth was twisted into a sardonic and pertinent expression. His hand sought his pocket and brought forth a case. He opened it and stared at the hypodermic syringe. His trembling fingers closed about it and moved toward the woman. Then, with an effort so violent he fancied he could hear his tense muscles creak, he straightened himself and turned his back upon the bed. At the same moment he dropped the instrument to the floor and set his heel upon it. |
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