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I said. You dont talk with that manyou listen to him, he exclaimed with severe exaltation. But now He waved his arm, and in the twinkling of an eye was in the uttermost depths of despondency. In a moment he came up again with a jump, possessed himself of both my hands, shook them continuously, while he gabbled: Brother sailor honor pleasure delight introduce myself Russian son of an arch-priest Government of Tambov What? Tobacco! English tobacco; the excellent English tobacco! Now, thats brotherly. Smoke? Wheres a sailor that does not smoke? The pipe soothed him, and gradually I made out he had run away from school, had gone to sea in a Russian ship; ran away again; served some time in English ships; was now reconciled with the arch-priest. He made a point of that. But when one is young one must see things, gather experience, ideas; enlarge the mind. Here! I interrupted. You can never tell! Here I have met Mr. Kurtz, he said, youthfully solemn and reproachful. I held my tongue after that. It appears he had persuaded a Dutch trading-house on the coast to fit him out with stores and goods, and had started for the interior with a light heart, and no more idea of what would happen to him than a baby. He had been wandering about that river for nearly two years alone, cut off from everybody and everything. I am not so young as I look. I am twenty-five, he said. At first old Van Shuyten would tell me to go to the devil, he narrated with keen enjoyment; but I stuck to him, and talked and talked, till at last he got afraid I would talk the hind-leg off his favorite dog, so he gave me some cheap things and a few guns, and told me he hoped he would never see my face again. Good old Dutchman, Van Shuyten. Ive sent him one small lot of ivory a year ago, so that he cant call me a little thief when I get back. I hope he got it. And for the rest I dont care. I had some wood stacked for you. That was my old house. Did you see? I gave him Towsons book. He made as though he would kiss me, but restrained himself. The only book I had left, and I thought I had lost it, he said, looking at it ecstatically. So many accidents happen to a man going about alone, you know. Canoes get upset sometimesand sometimes youve got to clear out so quick when the people get angry. He thumbed the pages. You made notes in Russian? I asked. He nodded. I thought they were written in cipher, I said. He laughed, then became serious. I had lots of trouble to keep these people off, he said. Did they want to kill you? I asked. Oh no! he cried, and checked himself. Why did they attack us? I pursued. He hesitated, then said shamefacedly, They dont want him to go. Dont they? I said, curiously. He nodded a nod full of mystery and wisdom. I tell you, he cried, this man has enlarged my mind. He opened his arms wide, staring at me with his little blue eyes that were perfectly round. III I looked at him, lost in astonishment. There he was before me, in motley, as though he had absconded from a troupe of mimes, enthusiastic, fabulous. His very existence was improbable, inexplicable, and altogether bewildering. He was an insoluble problem. It was inconceivable how he had existed, how he had succeeded in getting so far, how he had managed to remainwhy he did not instantly disappear. I went a little farther, he said, then still a little farthertill I had gone so far that I dont know how Ill ever get back. Never mind. Plenty time. I can manage. You take Kurtz away quickquickI tell you. The glamour of youth enveloped his particolored rags, his destitution, his loneliness, the essential desolation of his futile wanderings. For monthsfor yearshis life hadnt been worth a days purchase; and there he was gallantly, thoughtlessly alive, to all appearance indestructible solely by the virtue of his few years and of his unreflecting audacity. I was seduced into something like admirationlike envy. Glamour urged him on, glamour kept him unscathed. He surely wanted nothing from the wilderness but space to breathe in and to push on through. His need was to exist, and to move onwards at the greatest possible risk, and with a maximum of privation. If the absolutely pure, uncalculating, unpractical spirit of adventure had ever ruled a human being, it ruled this be-patched youth. I almost envied him the possession of this modest and clear flame. It seemed to have consumed all thought of self so completely, that, even while he was talking to you, you forgot that it was hethe man before your eyeswho had gone through these things. I did not envy him his devotion to Kurtz, though. He had not meditated over it. It came to him, and he accepted it with a sort of eager fatalism. I must say that to me it appeared about the most dangerous thing in every way he had come upon so far. |
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