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folly in the face of a danger it is unable to comprehend. I had no particular desire to enlighten them, but I had some difficulty in restraining myself from laughing in their faces, so full of stupid importance. I dare say I was not very well at that time. I tottered about the streetsthere were various affairs to settlegrinning bitterly at perfectly respectable persons. I admit my behavior was inexcusable, but then my temperature was seldom normal in these days. My dear aunts endeavors to nurse up my strength seemed altogether beside the mark. It was not my strength that wanted nursing, it was my imagination that wanted soothing. I kept the bundle of papers given me by Kurtz, not knowing exactly what to do with it. His mother had died lately, watched over, as I was told, by his Intended. A clean-shaved man, with an official manner and wearing gold-rimmed spectacles, called on me one day and made inquiries, at first circuitous, afterwards suavely pressing, about what he was pleased to denominate certain documents. I was not surprised, because I had had two rows with the manager on the subject out there. I had refused to give up the smallest scrap out of that package, and I took the same attitude with the spectacled man. He became darkly menacing at last, and with much heat argued that the Company had the right to every bit of information about its territories. And, said he, Mr. Kurtzs knowledge of unexplored regions must have been necessarily extensive and peculiarowing to his great abilities and to the deplorable circumstances in which he had been placed: thereforeI assured him Mr. Kurtzs knowledge, however extensive, did not bear upon the problems of commerce or administration. He invoked then the name of science. It would be an incalculable loss if, &c., &c. I offered him the report on the Suppression of Savage Customs, with the postscriptum torn off. He took it up eagerly, but ended by sniffing at it with an air of contempt. This is not what we had a right to expect, he remarked. Expect nothing else, I said. There are only private letters. He withdrew upon some threat of legal proceedings, and I saw him no more; but another fellow, calling himself Kurtzs cousin, appeared two days later, and was anxious to hear all the details about his dear relatives last moments. Incidentally he gave me to understand that Kurtz had been essentially a great musician. There was the making of an immense success, said the man, who was an organist, I believe, with lank gray hair flowing over a greasy coat-collar. I had no reason to doubt his statement; and to this day I am unable to say what was Kurtzs profession, whether he ever had anywhich was the greatest of his talents. I had taken him for a painter who wrote for the papers, or else for a journalist who could paintbut even the cousin (who took snuff during the interview) could not tell me what he had beenexactly. He was a universal geniuson that point I agreed with the old chap, who thereupon blew his nose noisily into a large cotton handkerchief and withdrew in senile agitation, bearing off some family letters and memoranda without importance. Ultimately a journalist anxious to know something of the fate of his dear colleague turned up. This visitor informed me Kurtzs proper sphere ought to have been politics on the popular side. He had furry straight eyebrows, bristly hair cropped short, an eye-glass on a broad ribbon, and, becoming expansive, confessed his opinion that Kurtz really couldnt write a bitbut heavens! how that man could talk! He electrified large meetings. He had faithdont you see?he had the faith. He could get himself to believe anythinganything. He would have been a splendid leader of an extreme party. What party? I asked. Any party, answered the other. He was ananextremist. Did I not think so? I assented. Did I know, he asked, with a sudden flash of curiosity, what it was that had induced him to go out there? Yes, said I, and forthwith handed him the famous Report for publication, if he thought fit. He glanced through it hurriedly, mumbling all the time, judged it would do, and took himself off with this plunder. Thus I was left at last with a slim packet of letters and the girls portrait. She struck me as beautifulI mean she had a beautiful expression. I know that the sunlight can be made to lie too, yet one felt that no manipulation of light and pose could have conveyed the delicate shade of truthfulness upon those features. She seemed ready to listen without mental reservation, without suspicion, without a thought for herself. I concluded I would go and give her back her portrait and those letters myself. Curiosity? Yes; and also some other feeling perhaps. All that had been Kurtzs had passed out of my hands: his soul, his body, his station, his plans, his ivory, his career. There remained only his memory and his Intendedand I wanted to give that up too to the past, in a way,to surrender personally all that remained of him with me to that oblivion which is the last word of our common fate. I dont defend myself. I had no clear perception of what it was I really wanted. Perhaps it was an impulse of unconscious loyalty, or the fulfillment |
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