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My object was attained, as of course my other self in there would have heard everything that passed. During this interlude my two officers never raised their eyes off their respective plates; but the lip of that confounded cub, the second mate, quivered visibly. I expected the steward to hook my coat on and come out at once. He was very slow about it; but I dominated my nervousness sufficiently not to shout after him. Suddenly I became aware (it could be heard plainly enough) that the fellow for some reason or other was opening the door of the bathroom. It was the end. The place was literally not big enough to swing a cat in. My voice died in my throat and I went stony all over. I expected to hear a yell of surprise and terror, and made a movement, but had not the strength to get on my legs. Everything remained still. Had my second self taken the poor wretch by the throat? I dont know what I could have done next moment if I had not seen the steward come out of my room, close the door, and then stand quietly by the sideboard. Saved, I thought. But, no! Lost! Gone! He was gone! I laid my knife and fork down and leaned back in my chair. My head swam. After a while, when sufficiently recovered to speak in a steady voice, I instructed my mate to put the ship round at eight oclock himself. I wont come on deck, I went on. I think Ill turn in, and unless the wind shifts I dont want to be disturbed before midnight. I feel a bit seedy. You did look middling bad a little while ago, the chief mate remarked without showing any great concern. They both went out, and I stared at the steward clearing the table. There was nothing to be read on that wretched mans face. But why did he avoid my eyes, I asked myself. Then I thought I should like to hear the sound of his voice. Steward! Sir! Startled as usual. Where did you hang up that coat? In the bathroom, sir. The usual anxious tone. Its not quite dry yet, sir. For some time longer I sat in the cuddy. Had my double vanished as he had come? But of his coming there was an explanation, whereas his disappearance would be inexplicable. I went slowly into my dark room, shut the door, lighted the lamp, and for a time dared not turn round. When at last I did I saw him standing bolt-upright in the narrow recessed part. It would not be true to say I had a shock, but an irresistible doubt of his bodily existence flitted through my mind. Can it be, I asked myself, that he is not visible to other eyes than mine? It was like being haunted. Motionless, with a grave face, he raised his hands slightly at me in a gesture which meant clearly, Heavens! what a narrow escape! Narrow indeed. I think I had come creeping quietly as near insanity as any man who has not actually gone over the border. That gesture restrained me, so to speak. The mate with the terrific whiskers was now putting the ship on the other tack. In the moment of profound silence which follows upon the hands going to their stations I heard on the poop his raised voice: Hard alee! and the distant shout of the order repeated on the main-deck. The sails, in that light breeze, made but a faint fluttering noise. It ceased. The ship was coming round slowly: I held my breath in the renewed stillness of expectation; one wouldnt have thought that there was a single living soul on her decks. A sudden brisk shout, Mainsail haul! broke the spell, and in the noisy cries and rush overhead of the men running away with the main brace we two, down in my cabin, came together in our usual position by the bed place. |
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