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Looking for the land wind. He made as if to tear his hair, and addressed me recklessly. She will never get out. You have done it, sir. I knew itd end in something like this. She will never weather, and you are too close now to stay. Shell drift ashore before shes round. O my God! I caught his arm as he was raising it to batter his poor devoted head, and shook it violently. Shes ashore already, he wailed, trying to tear himself away. Is she? Keep good full there! Good full, sir, cried the helmsman in a frightened, thin, childlike voice. I hadnt let go the mates arm and went on shaking it. Ready about, do you hear? You go forwardshakeand stop thereshakeand hold your noiseshakeand see these head-sheets properly overhauledshake, shakeshake. And all the time I dared not look towards the land lest my heart should fail me. I released my grip at last and he ran forward as if fleeing for dear life. I wondered what my double there in the sail locker thought of this commotion. He was able to hear everythingand perhaps he was able to understand why, on my conscience, it had to be thus closeno less. My first order Hard alee! re-echoed ominously under the towering shadow of Koh-ring as if I had shouted in a mountain gorge. And then I watched the land intently. In that smooth water and light wind it was impossible to feel the ship coming-to. No! I could not feel her. And my second self was making now ready to ship out and lower himself overboard. Perhaps he was gone already ? The great black mass brooding over our very mastheads began to pivot away from the ships side silently. And now I forgot the secret stranger ready to depart, and remembered only that I was a total stranger to the ship. I did not know her. Would she do it? How was she to be handled? I swung the mainyard and waited helplessly. She was perhaps stopped, and her very fate hung in the balance, with the black mass of Koh-ring like the gate of the everlasting night towering over her taffrail. What would she do now? Had she way on her yet? I stepped to the side swiftly, and on the shadowy water I could see nothing except a faint phosphorescent flash revealing the glassy smoothness of the sleeping surface. It was impossible to telland I had not learned yet the feel of my ship. Was she moving? What I needed was something easily seen, a piece of paper, which I could throw overboard and watch. I had nothing on me. To run down for it I didnt dare. There was no time. All at once my strained, yearning stare distinguished a white object floating within a yard of the ships side. White on the black water. A phosphorescent flash passed under it. What was that thing? I recognized my own floppy hat. It must have fallen off his head and he didnt bother. Now I had what I wantedthe saving mark for my eyes. But I hardly thought of my other self, now gone from the ship, to be hidden forever from all friendly faces, to be a fugitive and a vagabond on the earth, with no brand of the curse on his sane forehead to stay a slaying hand too proud to explain. And I watched the hatthe expression of my sudden pity for his mere flesh. It had been meant to save his homeless head from the dangers of the sun. And nowbeholdit was saving the ship, by serving me for a mark to help out the ignorance of my strangeness. Ha! It was drifting forward, warning me just in time that the ship had gathered sternaway. Shift the helm, I said in a low voice to the seaman standing still like a statue. The mans eyes glistened wildly in the binnacle light as he jumped round to the other side and spun round the wheel. |
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