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Crawleigh Road, up a short lane, and his sow was known to have a litter of ten young ones. Thither went in headlong haste both the candidates, Hyacinths mother, his aunt (Mrs Panstreppon), and two or three hurriedly summoned friends. The two Nubian donkeys, contentedly munching at bundles of hay, met their gaze as they entered the yard. The hoarse savage grunting of an enraged animal and the shriller note of thirteen young voices, three of them human, guided them to the sty, in the outer yard of which a huge Yorkshire sow kept up a ceaseless raging patrol before a closed door. Reclining on the broad ledge of an open window, from which point of vantage he could reach down and shoot the bolt of the door, was Hyacinth, his blue sailor-suit somewhat the worse for wear, and his angel smile exchanged for a look of demoniacal determination. If any of you come a step nearer, he shouted, the sow will be inside in a half a jiffy. A storm of threatening, arguing, entreating expostulation broke from the baffled rescue party, but it made no more impression on Hyacinth than the squealing tempest that raged within the sty. If Jutterly heads the poll Im going to let the sow in. Ill teach the blighters to win elections from us. He means it, said Mrs Panstreppon; I feared the worst when I saw that butterscotch incident. Its all right, my little man, said Jutterly, with the duplicity to which even a Colonial Secretary can sometimes stoop, your father has been elected by a large majority. Liar! retorted Hyacinth, with the directness of speech that is not merely excusable, but almost obligatory, in the political profession; the votes arent counted yet. You wont gammon me as to the result, either. A boy that Ive palled with is going to fire a gun when the poll is declared; two shots if weve won, one shot if we havent. The situation began to look critical. Drug the sow, whispered Hyacinths father. Some one went off in the motor to the nearest chemists shop and returned presently with two large pieces of bread, liberally dosed with narcotic. The bread was thrown deftly and unostentatiously into the sty, but Hyacinth saw through the manuvre. He set up a piercing imitation of a small pig in Purgatory, and the infuriated mother ramped round and round the sty; the pieces of bread were trampled into slush. At any moment now the poll might be declared. Jutterly flew back to the Town Hall, where the votes were being counted. His agent met him with a smile of hope. Youre eleven ahead at present, and only about eighty more to be counted; youre just going to squeak through. I mustnt squeak through, exclaimed Jutterly hoarsely. You must object to every doubtful vote on our side that can possibly be disallowed. I must nót have the majority. Then was seen the unprecedented sight of a party agent challenging the votes on his own side with a captiousness that his opponents would have hesitated to display. One or two votes that would have certainly passed muster under ordinary circumstances were disallowed, but even so Jutterly was six ahead with only thirty more to be counted. To the watchers by the sty the moments seemed intolerable. As a last resort some one had been sent for a gun with which to shoot the sow, though Hyacinth would probably draw the bolt the moment such a weapon was brought into the yard. Nearly all the men were away from their homes, however, on election night, and the messenger had evidently gone far afield in his search. It must be a matter of minutes now to the declaration of the poll. A sudden roar of shouting and cheering was heard from the direction of the Town Hall. Hyacinths father clutched a pitchfork and prepared to dash into the sty in the forlorn hope of being in time. |
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