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cry, if you had seen her face, you would understand my pertinacity. My God, I thought you had gone to get ready! Doctor, time is precious. Let us go, I entreat you. I cannot go, said Kirilov emphatically, and he took a step into the drawing-room. Abogin followed him and caught hold of his sleeve. You are in sorrow, I understand. But Im not asking you to a case of toothache, or to a consultation, but to save a human life! he went on entreating like a beggar. Life comes before any personal sorrow! Come, I ask for courage, for heroism! For the love of humanity! Humanitythat cuts both ways, Kirilov said irritably. In the name of humanity I beg you not to take me. And how queer it is, really! I can hardly stand and you talk to me about humanity! I am fit for nothing just now. Nothing will induce me to go, and I cant leave my wife alone. No, no. Kirilov waved his hands and staggered back. And and dont ask me, he went on in a tone of alarm. Excuse me. By No. XIII of the regulations I am obliged to go and you have the right to drag me by my collar drag me if you like, but I am not fit I cant even speak excuse me. There is no need to take that tone to me, doctor! said Abogin, again taking the doctor by his sleeve. What do I care about No. XIII! To force you against your will I have no right whatever. If you will, come; if you will notGod forgive you; but I am not appealing to your will, but to your feelings. A young woman is dying. You were just speaking of the death of your son. Who should understand my horror if not you? Abogins voice quivered with emotion; that quiver and his tone were far more persuasive than his words. Abogin was sincere, but it was remarkable that whatever he said his words sounded stilted, soulless, and inappropriately flowery, and even seemed an outrage on the atmosphere of the doctors home and on the woman who was somewhere dying. He felt this himself, and so, afraid of not being understood, did his utmost to put softness and tenderness into his voice so that the sincerity of his tone might prevail if his words did not. As a rule, however fine and deep a phrase may be, it only affects the indifferent, and cannot fully satisfy those who are happy or unhappy; that is why dumbness is most often the highest expression of happiness or unhappiness; lovers understand each other better when they are silent, and a fervent, passionate speech delivered by the grave only touches outsiders, while to the window and children of the dead man it seems cold and trivial. Kirilov stood in silence. When Abogin uttered a few more phrases concerning the noble calling of a doctor, self-sacrifice, and so on, the doctor asked sullenly: Is it far? Something like eight or nine miles. I have capital horses, doctor! I give you my word of honour that I will get you there and back in an hour. Only one hour. These words had more effect on Kirilov than the appeals to humanity or the noble calling of the doctor. He thought a moment and said with a sigh: Very well, let us go! He went rapidly with a more certain step to his study, and afterwards came back in a long frock-coat. Abogin, greatly relieved, fidgeted round him and scraped with his feet as he helped him on with his overcoat, and went out of the house with him. It was dark out of doors, though lighter than in the entry. The tall, stooping figure of the doctor, with his long, narrow beard and aquiline nose, stood out distinctly in the darkness. Abogins big head and the little students cap that barely covered it could be seen now as well as his pale face. The scarf showed white only in front, behind it was hidden by his long hair. |
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