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into the kingdom of eternal truthand therein lies your supreme service. You are the incarnation of the blessing of God, which rests upon men. And what is the object of eternal life? asked Kovrin. As of all lifeenjoyment. True enjoyment lies in knowledge, and eternal life provides innumerable and inexhaustible sources of knowledge, and in that sense it has been said: In My Fathers house there are many mansions. If only you knew how pleasant it is to hear you! said Kovrin, rubbing his hands with satisfaction. I am very glad. But I know that when you go away I shall be worried by the question of your reality. You are a phantom, an hallucination. So I am mentally deranged, not normal? What if you are? Why trouble yourself? You are ill because you have overworked and exhausted yourself, and that means that you have sacrificed your health to the idea, and the time is near at hand when you will give up life itself to it. What could be better? That is the goal towards which all divinely endowed, noble natures strive. If I know I am mentally affected, can I trust myself? And are you sure that the men of genius, whom all men trust, did not see phantoms, too? The learned say now that genius is allied to madness. My friend, healthy and normal people are only the common herd. Reflections upon the neurasthenia of the age, nervous exhaustion and degeneracy, et cetera, can only seriously agitate those who place the object of life in the presentthat is, the common herd. The Romans used to say: Mens sana in corpore sano. Not everything the Greeks and the Romans said is true. Exaltation, enthusiasm, ecstasyall that distinguishes prophets, poets, martyrs for the idea, from the common folkis repellent to the animal side of manthat is, his physical health. I repeat, if you want to be healthy and normal, go to the common herd. Strange that you repeat what often comes into my mind, said Kovrin. It is as though you had seen and overheard my secret thoughts. But dont let us talk about me. What do you mean by eternal truth? The monk did not answer. Kovrin looked at him and could not distinguish his face. His features grew blurred and misty. Then the monks head and arms disappeared; his body seemed merged into the seat and the evening twilight, and he vanished altogether. The hallucination is over, said Kovrin; and he laughed. Its a pity. He went back to the house, light-hearted and happy. The little the monk had said to him had flattered, not his vanity, but his whole soul, his whole being. To be one of the chosen, to serve eternal truth, to stand in the ranks of those who could make mankind worthy of the kingdom of God some thousands of years soonerthat is, to free men from some thousands of years of unnecessary struggle, sin, and suffering; to sacrifice to the idea everythingyouth, strength, health; to be ready to die for the common wealwhat an exalted, what a happy lot! He recalled his pastpure, chaste, laborious; he remembered what he had learned himself and what he had taught to others, and decided that there was no exaggeration in the monks words. Tanya came to meet him in the park: she was by now wearing a different dress. |
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