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Five days had passed. Anisim, who was preparing to go, went upstairs to say good-bye to Varvara. All the lamps were burning before the ikons, there was a smell of incense, while she sat at the window knitting a stocking of red wool. You have not stayed with us long, she said. Youve been dull, I dare say. Oh, tut, tut. We live comfortably; we have plenty of everything. We celebrated your wedding properly, in good style; your father says it came to two thousand. In fact we live like merchants, only its dreary. We treat the people very badly. My heart aches, my dear; how we treat them, my goodness! Whether we exchange a horse or buy something or hire a labourerits cheating in everything. Cheating and cheating. The Lenten oil in the shop is bitter, rancid, the people have pitch that is better. But surely, tell me pray, couldnt we sell good oil? Every man to his job, mamma. But you know we all have to die? Oy, oy, really you ought to talk to your father ! Why, you should talk to him yourself. Well, well, I did put in my word, but he said just what you do: Every man to his own job. Do you suppose in the next world theyll consider what job you have been put to? Gods judgment is just. Of course no one will consider, said Anisim, and he heaved a sigh. There is no God, anyway, you know, mamma, so what considering can there be? Varvara looked at him with surprise, burst out laughing, and clasped her hands. Perhaps because she was so genuinely surprised at his words and looked at him as though he were a queer person, he was confused. Perhaps there is a God, only there is no faith. When I was being married I was not myself. Just as you may take an egg from under a hen and there is a chicken chirping in it, so my conscience was beginning to chirp in me, and while I was being married I thought all the time there was a God! But when I left the church it was nothing. And indeed, how can I tell whether there is a God or not? We are not taught right from childhood, and while the babe is still at his mothers breast he is only taught every man to his own job. Father does not believe in God, either. You were saying that Guntorev had some sheep stolen. I have found them; it was a peasant at Shikalovo stole them; he stole them, but fathers got the fleeces so thats all his faith amounts to. Anisim winked and wagged his head. The elder does not believe in God, either, he went on. And the clerk and the deacon, too. And as for their going to church and keeping the fasts, that is simply to prevent people talking ill of them, and in case it really may be true that there will be a Day of Judgment. Nowadays people say that the end of the world has come because people have grown weaker, do not honour their parents, and so on. All that is nonsense. My idea, mamma, is that all our trouble is because there is so little conscience in people. I see through things, mamma, and I understand. If a man has a stolen shirt I see it. A man sits in a tavern and you fancy he is drinking tea and no more, but to me the tea is neither here nor there; I see further, he has no conscience. You can go about the whole day and not meet one man with a conscience. And the whole reason is that they dont know whether there is a God or not. Well, good-bye, mamma, keep alive and well, dont remember evil against me. Anisim bowed down at Varvaras feet. I thank you for everything, mamma, he said. You are a great gain to our family. You are a very ladylike woman, and I am very pleased with you. Much moved, Anisim went out, but returned again and said: |
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