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William loves me this day as on the wedding-day, sir. Some hasty words, but never a harsh one. I wish I were better and stronger for his sake. And, oh! sir, both for his sake and mine (and the soft, blue, beautiful eyes turned into two well-springs), how I wish little William and Martha livedit is so lonely- like now. William named after him, and Martha for me. When a companions heart of itself overflows, the best one can do is to do nothing. I sat looking down on my as yet untasted pudding. You should have seen little William, sir. Such a bright, manly boy, only six years oldcold, cold now! Plunging my spoon into the pudding, I forced some into my mouth to stop it. And little Marthaoh! sir, she was the beauty! Bitter, bitter! but needs must be borne. The mouthful of pudding now touched my palate, and touched it with a mouldy, briny taste. The rice, I knew, was of that damaged sort sold cheap; and the salt from the last years pork barrel. Ah, sir, if those little ones yet to enter the world were the same little ones which so sadly have left it; returning friends, not strangers, strangers, always strangers! Yet does a mother soon learn to love them; for certain, sir, they come from where the others have gone. Dont you believe that, sir? Yes, I know all good people must. But, still, stilland I fear it is wicked, and very black-hearted, toostill, strive how I may to cheer me with thinking of little William and Martha in heaven, and with reading Dr Doddridge therestill, still does dark grief leak in, just like the rain through our roof. I am left so lonesome now, day after day; all the day long, dear William is gone; and all the damp day long grief drizzles and drizzles down on my soul. But I pray to God to forgive me for this; and for the rest, manage it as well as I may. Bitter and mouldy is the poor mans pudding, groaned I to myself, half choked with but one little mouthful of it, which would hardly go down. I could stay no longer to hear of sorrows for which the sincerest sympathies could give no adequate relief; of a fond persuasion, to which there could be furnished no further proof than already was hada persuasion, too, of that sort which much speaking is sure more or less to mar; of causeless self-upbraidings, which no expostulations could have dispelled. I offered no pay for hospitalities gratuitous and honorable as those of a prince. I knew that such offerings would have been more than declined; charity resented. The native American poor never lose their delicacy or pride; hence, though unreduced to the physical degradation of the European pauper, they yet suffer more in mind than the poor of any other people in the world. Those peculiar social sensibilities nourished by our own peculiar political principles, while they enhance the true dignity of a prosperous American, do but minister to the added wretchedness of the unfortunate: first, by prohibiting their acceptance of what little random relief charity may offer; and, second, by furnishing them with the keenest appreciation of the smarting distinction between their ideal of universal equality and their grindstone experience of the practical misery and infamy of povertya misery and infamy which is, ever has been and ever will be precisely the same in India, England and America. Under pretence that my journey called me forthwith, I bade the dame goodbye; shook her cold hand; looked my last into her blue, resigned eye, and went out into the wet. But cheerless as it was, and damp, damp, dampthe heavy atmosphere charged with all sorts of incipienciesI yet became conscious, by the suddenness of the contrast, that the house air I had quitted was laden down with that peculiar deleterious quality, the height of whichinsufferable to some visitantswill be found in a poor-house ward. This ill-ventilation in winter of the rooms of the poora thing, too, so stubbornly persisted inis usually charged upon them as their disgraceful neglect of the most simple means to health. But the instinct of the poor is wiser than we think. The air which ventilates, likewise cools. And to any shiverer, ill- ventilated warmth is better than well-ventilated cold. Of all the preposterous assumptions of humanity |
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