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struggled with me during those awful years . It was the worst loneliness Ive ever known. Then, gradually, I began to notice a look of sadness in the pictures eyes; a look that seemed to say: Dont you see that I am lonely too? And all at once it came over me how she would have hated to be left behind! I remembered her comparing life to a heavy book that could not be read with ease unless two people held it together; and I thought how impatiently her hand would have turned the pages that divided us!So the idea came to me: Its the picture that stands between us; the picture that is dead, and not my wife. To sit in this room is to keep watch beside a corpse. As this feeling grew on me the portrait became like a beautiful mausoleum in which she had been buried alive: I could hear her beating against the painted walls and crying to me faintly for help . One day I found I couldnt stand it any longer and I sent for Claydon. He came down and I told him what Id been through, and what I wanted him to do. At first he refused point-blank to touch the picture. The next morning I went off for a long tramp, and when I came home I found him sitting here alone. He looked at me sharply for a moment, and then he said: Ive changed my mind; Ill do it. I arranged one of the north rooms as a studio, and he shut himself up there for a day; then he sent for me. The picture stood there as you see it nowit was as though shed met me on the threshold and taken me in her arms! I tried to thank him, to tell him what it meant to me, but he cut me short Theres an up-train at five, isnt there? he asked. Im booked for a dinner to-night. I shall just have time to make a bolt for the station, and you can send my traps after me. I havent seen him since. I can guess what it cost him to lay hands on his masterpiece; but, after all, to him it was only a picture lost, to me it was my wife regained! After that, for ten years or more, I watched the strange spectacle of a life of hopeful and productive effort based on the structure of a dream. There could be no doubt to those who saw Grancy during this period that he drew his strength and courage from the sense of his wifes mystic participation in his task. When I went back to see him a few months later I found the portrait had been removed from the library and placed in a small study upstairs, to which he had transferred his desk and a few books. He told me he always sat there when he was alone, keeping the library for his Sunday visitors. Those who missed the portrait of course made no comment on its absence, and the few who were in his secret respected it. Gradually all his old friends had gathered about him, and our Sunday afternoons regained something of their former character; but Claydon never reappeared among us. As I look back now I see that Grancy must have been failing from the time of his return home. His invincible spirit belied and disguised the signs of weakness that afterward asserted themselves in my remembrance of him. He seemed to have an inexhaustible fund of life to draw on, and more than one of us was a pensioner on his superfluity. Nevertheless, when I came back one summer from my European holiday and heard that he had been at the point of death, I understood at once that we had believed him well only because he wished us to. I hastened down to the country and found him midway in a slow convalescence. I felt then that he was lost to us, and he read my thought at a glance. Ah, he said, Im an old man now, and no mistake. I suppose we shall have to go half-speed after this; but we shant need towing just yet! The plural pronoun struck me, and involuntarily I looked up at Mrs. Grancys portrait. Line by line I saw my fear reflected in it. It was the face of a woman who knows that her husband is dying. My heart stood still at the thought of what Claydon had done. |
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