3 Gent. I come to speak with you—

Bes. You’re very welcome.

3 Gent. From one that holds himself wrong’d by you some three years since. Your worth, he says, is famed, and he doth nothing doubt but you will do him right, as beseems a soldier.

Bes. A pox on ’em, so they cry all!

3 Gent. And a slight note I have about me for you, for the delivery of which you must excuse me: It is an office that friendship calls upon me to do, and no way offensive to you; since I desire but right on both sides.

[Gives him a letter.

Bes. ’Tis a challenge, sir, is it not?

3 Gent. ’Tis an inviting to the field.

Bes. An inviting? Oh, cry you mercy!—What a compliment he delivers it with! he might, as agreeably to my nature, present me poison with such a speech. [Reads]. Um, um, um—Reputation—um, um, um—call you to account —um um, um—forced to this—um, um, um—with my sword—um, um, um—like a gentleman—um, um, um— dear to me—um, um, um—satisfaction.—’Tis very well, sir; I do accept it; but he must wait an answer this thirteen weeks.

3 Gent. Why, sir, he would be glad to wipe off this stain as soon as he could.

Bes. Sir, upon my credit, I am already engaged to two hundred and twelve; all which must have their stains wiped off, if that be the word, before him.

3 Gent. Sir, if you be truly engaged but to one, he shall stay a competent time.

Bes. Upon my faith, sir, to two hundred and twelve: And I have a spent body, too much bruised in battle; so that I cannot fight, I must be plain, above three combats a-day. All the kindness I can show him, is to set him resolvedly in my roll, the two hundred and thirteenth man, which is something; for, I tell you, I think there will be more after him than before him; I think so. Pray you commend me to him, and tell him this.

3 Gent. I will, sir. Good-morrow to you.

[Exit Gentleman.

Bes. Good-morrow, good sir.—Certainly, my safest way were to print myself a coward, with a discovery how I came by my credit, and clap it upon every post. I have received above thirty challenges within this two hours: Marry, all but the first I put off with engagement; and, by good fortune, the first is no madder of fighting than I; so that that’s referred. The place where it must be ended is four days’ journey off, and our arbitrators are these; he has chosen a gentleman in travel, and I have a special friend with a quartain ague, like to hold him this five years, for mine; and when his man comes home, we are to expect my friend’s health. If they would send me challenges thus thick, as long as I lived, I would have no other living: I can make seven shillings a-day o’ th’ paper to the grocers. Yet I learn nothing by all these, but a little skill in comparing of styles: I do find evidently, that there is some one scrivener in this town, that has a great hand in writing of challenges, for they are all of a cut, and six of ’em in a hand; and they all end, “My reputation is dear to me, and I must require satisfaction.”—Who’s there? more paper, I hope. No; ’tis my lord Bacurius. I fear, all is not well betwixt us.