Lady Fid. Don’t you trouble yourself, let him if he can.

Quack. [aside]. This indeed I could not have believed from him, nor any but my own eyes.

Enter Mrs. SQUEAMISH.

Mrs. Squeam. Where’s this woman-hater, this toad, this ugly, greasy, dirty sloven?

Sir Jasp. [aside]. So, the women all will have him ugly: methinks he is a comely person, but his wants make his form contemptible to ’em; and ’tis e’en as my wife said yesterday, talking of him, that a proper handsome eunuch was as ridiculous a thing as a gigantic coward.

Mrs. Squeam. Sir Jasper, your servant: where is the odious beast?

Sir Jasp. He’s within in his chamber, with my wife; she’s playing the wag with him.

Mrs. Squeam. Is she so? and he’s a clownish beast, he’ll give her no quarter, he’ll play the wag with her again, let me tell you: come, let’s go help her.—What, the door’s locked?

Sir Jasp. Ay, my wife locked it.

Mrs. Squeam. Did she so? let’s break it open then.

Sir Jasp. No. no, he’ll do her no hurt.

Mrs. Squeam. [aside]. But is there no other way to get in to ’em? whither goes this? I will disturb ’em.

[Exit at another door.

Enter Old Lady SQUEAMISH.

Lady Squeam. Where is this harlotry, this impudent baggage, this rambling tomrigg? O Sir Jasper, I’m glad to see you here; did you not see my vile grandchild come in hither just now?

Sir Jasp. Yes.

Lady Squeam. Ay, but where is she then? where is she? Lord, Sir Jasper, I have e’en rattled myself to pieces in pursuit of her: but can you tell what she makes here? they say below, no woman lodges here.

Sir Jasp. No.

Lady Squeam. No! what does she here then? say, if it be not a woman’s lodging, what makes she here? But are you sure no woman lodges here?

Sir Jasp. No, nor no man neither, this is Mr. Horner’s lodging.

Lady Squeam. Is it so, are you sure?

Sir Jasp. Yes, yes.

Lady Squeam. So; then there’s no hurt in’t, I hope. But where is he?

Sir Jasp. He’s in the next room with my wife.

Lady Squeam. Nay, if you trust him with your wife, I may with my Biddy. They say, he’s a merry harmless man now, e’en as harmless a man as ever came out of Italy with a good voice, and as pretty, harmless company for a lady, as a snake without his teeth.