Act III

[SCENE I]

Enter Aquilina and her Maid.

Aquil. Tell him I am gone to bed: tell him I am not at home; tell him I’ve better company with me, or anything; tell him, in short, I will not see him, the eternal, troublesome, vexatious fool: he’s worse company than an ignorant physician—I’ll not be disturbed at these unseasonable hours.

Maid. But madam! He’s here already, just entered the doors.

Aquil. Turn him out again, you unnecessary, useless, giddy brained ass! If he will not begone, set the house a-fire and burn us both: I had rather meet a toad in my dish than that old hideous animal in my chamber to-night.

Enter Antonio.

Anto. Nacky, Nacky, Nacky—how dost do, Nacky? Hurry durry. I am come, little Nacky; past eleven o’clock, a late hour; time in all conscience to go to bed, Nacky—Nacky, did I say? Ay Nacky; Aquilina, lina, lina, quilina, quilina, quilina, Aquilina, Naquilina, Naquilina, Acky, Acky, Nacky, Nacky. Queen Nacky—come let’s to bed—you Fubbs, you Pugg you— you little Puss—Purree Tuzzey—I am a Senator.

Aquil. You are a fool, I am sure.

Anto. May be so too, sweetheart. Never the worse Senator for all that. Come Nacky, Nacky, let’s have a game at rump, Nacky.

Aquil. You would do well, signor, to be troublesome here no longer, but leave me to myself: be sober and go home, sir.

Anto. Home, Madonna!

Aquil. Ay, home, sir. Who am I?

Anto. Madonna, as I take it you are my—you are—thou art my little Nicky Nacky…that’s all!

Aquil. I find you are resolved to be troublesome, and so to make short of the matter in few words, I hate you, detest you, loathe you, I am weary of you, sick of you—hang you, you are an old, silly, impertinent, impotent, solicitous coxcomb, crazy in your head, and lazy in your body, love to be meddling with everything, and if you had not money, you are good for nothing.

Anto. Good for nothing! Hurry durry, I’ll try that presently. Sixty-one years old, and good for nothing: that’s brave.—[To the maid.] Come, come, come, Mistress fiddle-faddle, turn you out for a season; go turn out, I say, it is our will and pleasure to be private some moments—out, out when you are bid to.— [Puts her out and locks the door.] Good for nothing, you say.

Aquil. Why, what are you good for?

Anto. In the first place, madam, I am old, and consequently very wise, very wise, Madonna, d’ye mark that? in the second place, take notice, if you please, that I am a Senator, and when I think fit can make speeches, Madonna. Hurry durry, I can make a speech in the Senate-house now and then—would make you hair stand on end, Madonna.

Aquil. What care I for your speeches in the Senate-house: if you would be silent here, I should thank you.