Acres. Your words are a grenadier’s march to my heart! I believe courage must be catching! I certainly do feel a kind of valour rising as it were—a kind of courage, as I may say.—Odds flints, pans, and triggers! I’ll challenge him directly.

Sir Luc. Ah, my little friend, if I had Blunderbuss Hall here, I could show you a range of ancestry, in the old O’Trigger line, that would furnish the new room; every one of whom had killed his man!—For though the mansion-house and dirty acres have slipped through my fingers, I thank heaven our honour and the family-pictures are as fresh as ever.

Acres. O, Sir Lucius! I have had ancestors too!—every man of ’em colonel or captain in the militia!—Odds balls and barrels! say no more—I’m braced for it. The thunder of your words has soured the milk of human kindness in my breast:—Zounds! as the man in the play says, I could do such deeds!

Sir Luc. Come, come, there must be no passion at all in the case—these things should always be done civilly.

Acres. I must be in a passion, Sir Lucius—I must be in a rage. —Dear Sir Lucius, let me be in a rage, if you love me. Come, here’s pen and paper.—[Sits down to write.] I would the ink were red!—Indite, I say, indite!—How shall I begin? Odds bullets and blades! I’ll write a good bold hand, however.

Sir Luc. Pray compose yourself.

Acres. Come—now, shall I begin with an oath? Do, Sir Lucius, let me begin with a damme.

Sir Luc. Pho! pho! do the thing decently, and like a Christian. Begin now—Sir—

Acres. That’s too civil by half.

Sir Luc. To prevent the confusion that might arise—

Acres. Well—

Sir Luc. From our both addressing the same lady—

Acres. Ay, there’s the reason—same lady—well—

Sir Luc. I shall expect the honour of your company—

Acres. Zounds! I’m not asking him to dinner.

Sir Luc. Pray be easy.

Acres. Well, then, honour of your company—

Sir Luc. To settle our pretensions—

Acres. Well.

Sir Luc. Let me see, ay, King’s-Mead-Fields will do—in King’s-Mead-Fields.

Acres. So, that’s done—Well, I’ll fold it up presently; my own crest—a hand and dagger shall be the seal.

Sir Luc. You see now this little explanation will put a stop at once to all confusion or misunderstanding that might arise between you.

Acres. Ay, we fight to prevent any misunderstanding.