[Aside.

Mrs. Mal. Ay, here it is.

Abs. Ay, my note indeed! Oh, the little traitress Lucy.

[Aside.

Mrs. Mal. There, perhaps you may know the writing.

[Gives him the letter.

Abs. I think I have seen the hand before—yes, I certainly must have seen this hand before—

Mrs. Mal. Nay, but read it, captain.

Abs. [Reads] My soul’s idol, my adored Lydia !—Very tender, indeed!

Mrs. Mal. Tender, ay, and profane too, o’ my conscience.

Abs. [Reads] I am excessively alarmed at the intelligence you send me, the more so as my new rival—

Mrs. Mal. That’s you, sir.

Abs. [Reads] Has universally the character of being an accomplished gentleman and a man of honour.—Well, that’s handsome enough.

Mrs. Mal. Oh, the fellow has some design in writing so.

Abs. That he had, I’ll answer for him, ma’am.

Mrs. Mal. But go on, sir—you’ll see presently.

Abs. [Reads.] As for the old weather-beaten she-dragon who guards you.—Who can he mean by that?

Mrs. Mal. Me, sir!—me!—he means me!—There—what do you think now?—but go on a little further.

Abs. Impudent scoundrel!—[Reads.] it shall go hard but I will elude her vigilance, as I am told that the same ridiculous vanity, which makes her dress up her coarse features, and deck her dull chat with hard words which she don’t understand—

Mrs. Mal. There, sir, an attack upon my language! what do you think of that?—an aspersion upon my parts of speech! was ever such a brute! Sure, if I reprehend any thing in this world it is the use of my oracular tongue, and a nice derangement of epitaphs!

Abs. He deserves to be hanged and quartered! let me see— [Reads.] some ridiculous vanity—

Mrs. Mal. You need not read it again, sir.

Abs. I beg pardon, ma’am.—[Reads.] does also lay her open to the grossest deceptions from flattery and pretended admiration—an impudent coxcomb!—so that I have a scheme to see you shortly with the old harridan’s consent, and even to make her a go-between in our interview.—Was ever such assurance!

Mrs. Mal. Did you ever hear anything like it?—he’ll elude my vigilance, will he?—Yes, yes! ha! ha! he’s very likely to enter these doors;—we’ll try who can plot best!