Abs. So we will, ma’am—so we will! Ha! ha! ha! a conceited puppy, ha! ha! ha!—Well, but, Mrs. Malaprop, as the girl seems so infatuated by this fellow, suppose you were to wink at her corresponding with him for a little time—let her even plot an elopement with him—then do you connive at her escape—while I, just in the nick, will have the fellow laid by the heels, and fairly contrive to carry her off in his stead.

Mrs. Mal. I am delighted with the scheme; never was anything better perpetrated!

Abs. But, pray, could not I see the lady for a few minutes now? —I should like to try her temper a little.

Mrs. Mal. Why, I don’t know—I doubt she is not prepared for a visit of this kind. There is a decorum in these matters.

Abs. O Lord! she won’t mind me—only tell her Beverley—

Mrs. Mal. Sir!

Abs. Gently, good tongue.

[Aside.

Mrs. Mal. What did you say of Beverley?

Abs. Oh, I was going to propose that you should tell her, by way of jest, that it was Beverley who was below; she’d come down fast enough then—ha! ha! ha!

Mrs. Mal. ’Twould be a trick she well deserves; besides, you know the fellow tells her he’ll get my consent to see her—ha! ha! Let him if he can, I say again. Lydia, come down here!— [Calling.] He’ll make me a go-between in their interviews!—ha! ha! ha! Come down, I say, Lydia! I don’t wonder at your laughing, ha! ha! ha! his impudence is truly ridiculous.

Abs. ’Tis very ridiculous, upon my soul, ma’am, ha! ha! ha!

Mrs. Mal. The little hussy won’t hear. Well, I’ll go and tell her at once who it is—she shall know that Captain Absolute is come to wait on her. And I’ll make her behave as becomes a young woman.

Abs. As you please, madam.

Mrs. Mal. For the present, captain, your servant. Ah! you’ve not done laughing yet, I see—elude my vigilance; yes, yes; ha! ha! ha!

[Exit.

Abs. Ha! ha! ha! one would think now that I might throw off all disguise at once, and seize my prize with security; but such is Lydia’s caprice, that to undeceive were probably to lose her. I’ll see whether she knows me.

[Walks aside, and seems engaged in looking at the pictures.

Enter Lydia.

Lyd. What a scene am I now to go through! surely nothing can be more dreadful than to be obliged to listen to the loathsome addresses of a stranger to one’s heart. I have heard of girls persecuted as I am, who have appealed in behalf of their favoured lover to the generosity of his rival; suppose I were to try it—there stands the hated rival—an officer too;—but oh, how unlike my Beverley! I wonder he don’t begin—truly he seems a very negligent wooer!—quite at his ease, upon my word!—I’ll speak first— Mr. Absolute.