Abs. Upon my soul, ma’am—

Sir Anth. Come, no excuse, Jack; why, your father, you rogue, was so before you!—the blood of the Absolutes was always impatient.—Ha! ha! ha! poor little Lydia! why, you’ve frightened her, you dog, you have.

Abs. By all that’s good, sir—

Sir Anth. Zounds! say no more, I tell you Mrs. Malaprop shall make your peace. You must make his peace, Mrs. Malaprop:—you must tell her ’tis Jack’s way—tell her ’tis all our ways —it runs in the blood of our family! Come away, Jack Ha! ha! ha!—Mrs. Malaprop—a young villain!

[Pushing him out.

Mrs. Mal. O! Sir Anthony!—O fy, captain!

[Exeunt severally.

Scene III.—The North Parade.

Enter Sir Lucius O’Trigger.

Sir Luc. I wonder where this Captain Absolute hides himself! Upon my conscience! these officers are always in one’s way in love affairs:—I remember I might have married Lady Dorothy Carmine, if it had not been for a little rogue of a major, who ran away with her before she could get a sight of me! And I wonder too what it is the ladies can see in them to be so fond of them—unless it be a touch of the old serpent in ’em, that makes the little creatures be caught, like vipers, with a bit of red cloth. Ha! isn’t this the captain coming?—faith it is!—There is a probability of succeeding about that fellow, that is mighty provoking! Who the devil is he talking to?

[Steps aside.

Enter Captain Absolute.

Abs. [Aside.] To what fine purpose I have been plotting! a noble reward for all my schemes, upon my soul!—a little gipsy! —I did not think her romance could have made her so damned absurd either. ‘Sdeath, I never was in a worse humour in my life! —I could cut my own throat, or any other person’s with the greatest pleasure in the world!

Sir Luc. Oh, faith! I’m in the luck of it. I never could have found him in a sweeter temper for my purpose—to be sure I’m just come in the nick! Now to enter into conversation with him, and so quarrel genteelly.—[Goes up to Captain Absolute.] With regard to that matter, captain, I must beg leave to differ in opinion with you.

Abs. Upon my word, then, you must be a very subtle disputant: —because, sir, I happened just then to be giving no opinion at all.

Sir Luc. That’s no reason. For give me leave to tell you, a man may think an untruth as well as speak one.

Abs. Very true, sir; but if a man never utters his thoughts, I should think they might stand a chance of escaping controversy.

Sir Luc. Then, sir, you differ in opinion with me, which amounts to the same thing.