Lady Teaz. Oh! I’m quite undone! What will become of me? Now, Mr. Logic—Oh! mercy, sir, he’s on the stairs—I’ll get behind here—and if ever I’m so imprudent again—

[Goes behind the screen.

Jos. Surf. Give me that book.

[Sits down. Servant pretends to adjust his chair.

Enter Sir Peter Teazle.

Sir Pet. Ay, ever improving himself—Mr. Surface, Mr. Surface—

[Pats Joseph on the shoulder.

Jos. Surf. Oh, my dear Sir Peter, I beg your pardon. [Gaping, throws away the book.] I have been dozing over a stupid book. Well, I am much obliged to you for this call. You haven’t been here, I believe, since I fitted up this room. Books, you know, are the only things I am a coxcomb in.

Sir Pet. ’Tis very neat indeed. Well, well, that’s proper; and you can make even your screen a source of knowledge—hung, I perceive, with maps.

Jos. Surf. Oh, yes, I find great use in that screen.

Sir Pet. I dare say you must, certainly, when you want to find anything in a hurry.

Jos. Surf. Ay, or to hide anything in a hurry either.

[Aside.

Sir Pet. Well, I have a little private business—

Jos. Surf. You need not stay.

[To Servant.

Ser. No, sir.

[Exit.

Jos. Surf. Here’s a chair, Sir Peter—I beg—

Sir Pet. Well, now we are alone, there is a subject, my dear friend, on which I wish to unburden my mind to you—a point of the greatest moment to my peace; in short, my good friend, Lady Teazle’s conduct of late has made me very unhappy.

Jos. Surf. Indeed! I am very sorry to hear it.

Sir Pet. Yes, ’tis but too plain she has not the least regard for me; but, what’s worse, I have pretty good authority to suppose she has formed an attachment to another.

Jos. Surf. Indeed! you astonish me!

Sir Pet. Yes! and, between ourselves, I think I’ve discovered the person.

Jos. Surf. How! you alarm me exceedingly.