Miss Hoyd. Squire, is he?—Well, that’s better than nothing.

Lord Fop. [Aside.] Now I will put on a philosophic air, and show these people, that it is not possible to put a man of my quality out of countenance.—[Aloud.] Dear Tam, since things are fallen out, p’rythee give me leave to wish thee joy; I do it de bon cœur, strike me dumb! You have married into a family of great politeness and uncommon elegance of manners, and your bride appears to be a lady beautiful in person, modest in her deportment, refined in her sentiments, and of nice morality, split my windpipe!

Miss Hoyd. By goles, husband, break his bones if he calls me names!

Fash. Your lordship may keep up your spirits with your grimace, if you please; I shall support mine, by Sir Tunbelly’s favour, with this lady and three thousand pounds a year.

Lord Fop. Well, adieu, Tam!—Ladies, I kiss your hands!—Sir Tunbelly, I shall now quit this thy den; but while I retain the use of my arms, I shall ever remember thou art a demned horrid savage; Ged demn me!

[Exit.

Sir Tun. By the mass, ’tis well he’s gone—for I should ha’ been provoked, by-and-by, to ha’ dun un a mischief. Well, if this is a lord, I think Hoyden has luck on her side, in troth.

Col. Town. She has, indeed, Sir Tunbelly.—But I hear the fiddles; his lordship, I know, has provided ’em.

Love. Oh, a dance and a bottle, Sir Tunbelly, by all means!

Sir Tun. I had forgot the company below; well—what—we must be merry, then, ha? and dance and drink, ha? Well, ’fore George, you shan’t say I do these things by halves. Son-in-law there looks like a hearty rogue, so we’ll have a night on’t: and which of these ladies will be the old man’s partner, ha?—Ecod, I don’t know how I came to be in so good a humour.

Ber. Well, Sir Tunbelly, my friend and I both will endeavour to keep you so: you have done a generous action, and are entitled to our attention. If you should be at a loss to divert your new guests, we will assist you to relate to them the plot of your daughter’s marriage, and his lordship’s deserved mortification; a subject which perhaps may afford no bad evening’s entertainment.

Sir Tun. Ecod, with all my heart; though I am a main bungler at a long story.

Ber. Never fear; we will assist you, if the tale is judged worth being repeated; but of this you may be assured, that while the intention is evidently to please, British auditors will ever be indulgent to the errors of the performance.

[Exeunt omnes.