First Soldier

[Reads] 'When he swears oaths, bid him drop gold, and take it;
After he scores, he never pays the score:
Half won is match well made; match, and well make it;
He ne'er pays after-debts, take it before;
And say a soldier, Dian, told thee this,
Men are to mell with, boys are not to kiss:
For count of this, the count's a fool, I know it,
Who pays before, but not when he does owe it.
Thine, as he vowed to thee in thine ear,
PAROLLES.'

BERTRAM

He shall be whipped through the army with this rhyme
in's forehead.

Second Lord

This is your devoted friend, sir, the manifold
linguist and the armipotent soldier.

BERTRAM

I could endure any thing before but a cat, and now
he's a cat to me.

First Soldier

I perceive, sir, by the general's looks, we shall be
fain to hang you.

PAROLLES

My life, sir, in any case: not that I am afraid to
die; but that, my offences being many, I would
repent out the remainder of nature: let me live,
sir, in a dungeon, i' the stocks, or any where, so I may live.

First Soldier

We'll see what may be done, so you confess freely;
therefore, once more to this Captain Dumain: you
have answered to his reputation with the duke and to
his valour: what is his honesty?

PAROLLES

He will steal, sir, an egg out of a cloister: for
rapes and ravishments he parallels Nessus: he
professes not keeping of oaths; in breaking 'em he
is stronger than Hercules: he will lie, sir, with
such volubility, that you would think truth were a
fool: drunkenness is his best virtue, for he will
be swine-drunk; and in his sleep he does little
harm, save to his bed-clothes about him; but they
know his conditions and lay him in straw. I have but
little more to say, sir, of his honesty: he has
every thing that an honest man should not have; what
an honest man should have, he has nothing.

First Lord

I begin to love him for this.

BERTRAM

For this description of thine honesty? A pox upon
him for me, he's more and more a cat.

First Soldier

What say you to his expertness in war?