Orgon. I! leave this house!

M. Loyal. Yes, Sir, if you please. The house at present, as you well know, belongs incontestably to good Monsieur Tartuffe. Of all your property, he is henceforth lord and master, by virtue of a contract of which I am the bearer. It is in due form, and nothing can be said against it.

Damis (to M. Loyal). Certainly this impudence is immense, and I admire it!

M. Loyal (to Damis). Sir, my business lies not with you (pointing to Orgon); it is with this gentleman. He is both reasonable and mild, and knows too well the duty of an honest man to oppose the law in any way.

Orgon. But …

M. Loyal. Yes, Sir, I know that you would not rebel for a million of money, and that, like a gentleman, you will allow me to execute here the orders which I have received.

Damis. M. Tipstaff, you may chance to get your black gown well dusted here.

M. Loyal (to Orgon). Order your son to hold his tongue or to retire, Sir. I should be very loath to have recourse to writing, and to see your name figure in my official report.

Dorine (aside). This M. Loyal has a very disloyal air.

M. Loyal. Having a great deal of sympathy with all honest people, I charge myself with these documents, Sir, as much to oblige and please you, as to avoid the choice of those who, not having the same consideration for you that inspires me, might have proceeded in a less gentle way.

Orgon. And what can be worse than to order people to quit their own house?

M. Loyal. You are allowed time, and I shall suspend until to-morrow the execution of the writ, Sir. I shall come only to pass the night here with ten of my people without noise or without scandal. For form’s sake, you must, if you please, before going to bed, bring me the keys of your door. I shall take care not to disturb your rest, and to permit nothing which is not right. But to-morrow, you must be ready in the morning, to clear the house of even the smallest utensil; my people shall assist you, and I have selected strong ones, so that they can help you to remove everything. One cannot act better than I do, I think; and as I am treating you with great indulgence, I entreat you also, Sir, to profit by it, so that I may not be annoyed in the execution of my duty.

Orgon (aside). I would willingly give just now the best hundred gold pieces of what remains to me for the pleasure of striking on this snout the soundest blow that ever was dealt.

Cléante (softly to Orgon). Leave well enough alone. Do not let us make things worse.

Damis. I can hardly restrain myself at this strange impertinence, and my fingers are itching.

Dorine. Upon my word, M. Loyal, with such a broad back, a few cudgel blows would do you no harm.

M. Loyal. We might easily punish these infamous words, sweetheart; and there is a law against women too.

Cléante (to M. Loyal). Pray let us put an end to all this, Sir. Hand over this paper quickly, and leave us.

M. Loyal. Till by-and-by. May Heaven bless you all!

Orgon. And may it confound you, and him who sends you!