Lady Plymdale You haven’t told me her name yet! Who is she?

Dumby (coughs slightly and smooths his hair) She’s a Mrs Erlynne.

Lady Plymdale That woman!°

Dumby Yes; that is what everyone calls her.

Lady Plymdale How very interesting! How intensely interesting! I really must have a good stare at her. (Goes to door of ball-room and looks in) I have heard the most shocking things about her. They say she is ruining poor Windermere. And Lady Windermere, who goes in for being so proper, invites her! How extremely amusing! It takes a thoroughly good woman to do a thoroughly stupid thing. You are to lunch there on Friday!

Dumby Why?

Lady Plymdale Because I want you to take my husband with you. He has been so attentive lately, that he has become a perfect nuisance. Now, this woman is just the thing for him.° He’ll dance attendance upon her as long as she lets him, and won’t bother me. I assure you, women of that kind are most useful. They form the basis of other people’s marriages.

Dumby What a mystery you are!

Lady Plymdale (looking at him) I wish you were!

Dumby I am—to myself. I am the only person in the world I should like to know thoroughly; but I don’t see any chance of it just at present.

They pass into the ball-room° [Stage quite clear.] Lady Windermere and Lord Darlington enter from the terrace

Lady windermere Yes. Her coming here is monstrous, unbearable. I know now what you meant today at tea-time. Why didn’t you tell me right out? You should have!

Lord Darlington I couldn’t! A man can’t tell these things about another man! But if I had known he was going to make you ask her here tonight, I think I would have told you. That insult, at any rate, you would have been spared.

Lady windermere I did not ask her. He insisted on her coming—against my entreaties—against my commands. Oh! the house is tainted for me! I feel that every woman here sneers at me as she dances by with my husband. What have I done to deserve this? I gave him all my life. He took it—used it—spoiled it! I am degraded in my own eyes; and I lack courage—I am a coward! (Sits down on sofa)

Lord Darlington If I know you at all, I know that you can’t live with a man who treats you like this! What sort of life would you have with him? You would feel that he was lying to you every moment of the day. You would feel that the look in his eyes was false, his voice false, his touch false, his passion false. He would come to you when he was weary of others; you would have to comfort him. He would come to you when he was devoted to others; you would have to charm him. You would have to be to him the mask of his real life, the cloak to hide his secret.

Lady windermere You are right—you are terribly right. But where am I to turn? You said you would be my friend, Lord Darlington.—Tell me, what am I to do? Be my friend now.

Lord Darlington Between men and women there is no friendship possible. There is passion, enmity, worship, love, but no friendship. I love you—