Kelvil May I ask, Lord Illingworth, if you regard the House of Lords as a better institution than the House of Commons?

Lord Illingworth A much better institution, of course. We in the House of Lords are never in touch with public opinion. That makes us a civilized body.

Kelvil Are you serious in putting forward such a view?

Lord Illingworth Quite serious, Mr Kelvil. (To Mrs Allonby) Vulgar habit° that is people have nowadays of asking one, after one has given them an idea, whether one is serious or not. Nothing is serious except passion. The intellect is not a serious thing, and never has been. It is an instrument on which one plays, that is all. The only serious form of intellect I know is the British intellect. And on the British intellect the illiterates play the drum.

Lady Hunstanton What are you saying, Lord Illingworth, about the drum?

Lord Illingworth I was merely talking to Mrs Allonby about the leading articles in the London newspapers.

Lady Hunstanton But do you believe all that is written in the newspapers?

Lord Illingworth I do. Nowadays it is only the unreadable that occurs.

Rises with Mrs Allonby

Lady Hunstanton Are you going, Mrs Allonby?

Mrs Allonby Just as far as the conservatory. Lord Illingworth told me this morning that there was an orchid° there as beautiful as the seven deadly sins.

Lady Hunstanton My dear, I hope there is nothing of the kind, I will certainly speak to the gardener.

Exit Mrs Allonby and Lord Illingworth

Lady Caroline Remarkable type, Mrs Allonby.

Lady Hunstanton She lets her clever tongue run away with her sometimes.

Lady Caroline Is that the only thing, Jane, Mrs Allonby allows to run away with her?

Lady Hunstanton I hope so, Caroline, I am sure.

Enter Lord Alfred

Dear Lord Alfred, do join us.

Lord Alfred sits down beside Lady Stutfield

Lady Caroline You believe good of everyone, Jane. It is a great fault.

Lady Stutfield Do you really, really think, Lady Caroline, that one should believe evil of everyone?

Lady Caroline I think it is much safer to do so, Lady Stutfield. Until, of course, people are found out to be good. But that requires a great deal of investigation nowadays.

Lady Stutfield But there is so much unkind scandal in modern life.