Gerald Lord Illingworth, I want you so much to know my mother.

Lord Illingworth With the greatest pleasure. (To Mrs Allonby) I’ll be back in a moment. People’s mothers always bore me to death. All women° become like their mothers. That is their tragedy.

Mrs Allonby No man does. That is his.

Lord Illingworth What a delightful mood you are in tonight!

Turns round and goes across with Gerald to Mrs Arbuthnot. When he sees her, he starts back in wonder. Then slowly his eyes turn towards Gerald

Gerald Mother, this is Lord Illingworth, who has offered to take me as his private secretary. (Mrs Arbuthnot bows coldly) It is a wonderful opening for me, isn’t it? I hope he won’t be disappointed in me, that is all. You’ll thank Lord Illingworth, mother, won’t you?

Mrs Arbuthnot Lord Illingworth is very good, I am sure, to interest himself in you for the moment.°

Lord Illingworth (putting his hand on Gerald’s shoulder) Oh, Gerald and I are great friends already, Mrs…Arbuthnot.

Mrs Arbuthnot There can be nothing in common between you and my son, Lord Illingworth.

Gerald Dear mother, how can you say so? Of course Lord Illingworth is awfully clever and that sort of thing. There is nothing Lord Illingworth doesn’t know.

Lord Illingworth My dear boy!

Gerald He knows more about life than anyone I have ever met. I feel an awful duffer when I am with you, Lord Illingworth. Of course, I have had so few advantages. I have not been to Eton or Oxford like other chaps. But Lord Illingworth doesn’t seem to mind that. He has been awfully good to me, mother.

Mrs Arbuthnot Lord Illingworth may change his mind. He may not really want you as his secretary.

Gerald Mother!

Mrs Arbuthnot You must remember, as you said yourself, you have had so few advantages.

Mrs Allonby Lord Illingworth, I want to speak to you for a moment. Do come over.

Lord Illingworth Will you excuse me, Mrs Arbuthnot? Now, don’t let your charming mother make any more difficulties, Gerald. The thing is quite settled, isn’t it?

Gerald I hope so.

Lord Illingworth goes across to Mrs Allonby

Mrs Allonby I thought you were never going to leave the lady in black velvet.°

Lord Illingworth She is excessively handsome. (Looks at Mrs Arbuthnot)

Lady Hunstanton Caroline, shall we all make a move to the music-room? Miss Worsley is going to play. You’ll come too, dear Mrs Arbuthnot, won’t you? You don’t know what a treat is in store for you. (To Dr Daubeny) I must really take Miss Worsley down some afternoon to the rectory. I should so much like dear Mrs Daubeny to hear her on the violin. Ah, I forgot. Dear Mrs Daubeny’s hearing is a little defective, is it not?