Gerald But there are good women in society, aren’t there?

Lord Illingworth Far too many.

Gerald But do you think women shouldn’t be good?

Lord Illingworth One should never tell them so, they’d all become good at once. Women are a fascinatingly wilful sex. Every woman is a rebel, and usually in wild revolt against herself.

Gerald You have never been married, Lord Illingworth, have you?

Lord Illingworth Men marry because they are tired; women because they are curious. Both are disappointed.

Gerald But don’t you think one can be happy when one is married?

Lord Illingworth Perfectly happy. But the happiness of a married man, my dear Gerald, depends on the people he has not married.

Gerald But if one is in love?

Lord Illingworth One should always be in love. That is the reason one should never marry.

Gerald Love is a very wonderful thing, isn’t it?

Lord Illingworth When one is in love one begins by deceiving oneself. And one ends by deceiving others. That is what the world calls a romance. But a really grande passion is comparatively rare nowadays. It is the privilege of people who have nothing to do. That is the one use of the idle classes in a country, and the only possible explanation of us Harfords.

Gerald Harfords, Lord Illingworth?

Lord Illingworth That is my family name. You should study the Peerage,° Gerald. It is the one book a young man about town should know thoroughly, and it is the best thing in fiction the English have ever done. And now, Gerald, you are going into a perfectly new life with me, and I want you to know how to live. (Mrs Arbuthnot appears on terrace behind)° For the world has been made by fools that wise men should live in it!

Enter L.C. Lady Hunstanton and Dr Daubeny

Lady Hunstanton Ah! here you are, dear Lord Illingworth. Well, I suppose you have been telling our young friend, Gerald, what his new duties are to be, and giving him a great deal of good advice over a pleasant cigarette.

Lord Illingworth I have been giving him the best of advice, Lady Hunstanton, and the best of cigarettes.

Lady Hunstanton I am so sorry I was not here to listen to you, but I suppose I am too old now to learn. Except from you, dear Archdeacon, when you are in your nice pulpit. But then I always know what you are going to say, so I don’t feel alarmed. (Sees Mrs Arbuthnot) Ah! dear Mrs Arbuthnot, do come and join us. Come, dear.

Enter Mrs Arbuthnot

Gerald has been having such a long talk with Lord Illingworth; I am sure you must feel very much flattered at the pleasant way in which everything has turned out for him. Let us sit down. (They sit down) And how is your beautiful embroidery going on?

Mrs Arbuthnot I am always at work, Lady Hunstanton.