Mrs Arbuthnot (turning round) A kiss may ruin a human life, George Harford. I know that. I know that too well.

Lord Illingworth We won’t discuss that at present. What is of importance today, as yesterday, is still our son. I am extremely fond of him, as you know, and odd though it may seem to you, I admired his conduct last night immensely. He took up the cudgels for that pretty prude with wonderful promptitude. He is just what I should have liked a son of mine to be. Except that no son of mine should ever take the side of the Puritans: that is always an error. Now, what I propose is this.

Mrs Arbuthnot Lord Illingworth, no proposition of yours interests me.

Lord Illingworth According to our ridiculous English laws, I can’t legitimize Gerald. But I can leave him my property. Illingworth is entailed,° of course, but it is a tedious barrack of a place. He can have Ashby, which is much prettier, Harborough, which has the best shooting in the north of England, and the house in St James’s Square. What more can a gentleman require in this world?

Mrs Arbuthnot Nothing more, I am quite sure.

Lord Illingworth As for a title, a title is really rather a nuisance in these democratic days. As George Harford I had everything I wanted. Now I have merely everything that other people want, which isn’t nearly so pleasant. Well, my proposal is this.

Mrs Arbuthnot I told you I was not interested, and I beg you to go.

Lord Illingworth The boy is to be with you for six months in the year, and with me for the other six. That is perfectly fair, is it not? You can have whatever allowance you like, and live where you choose. As for your past, no one knows anything about it except myself and Gerald. There is the Puritan, of course, the Puritan in white muslin, but she doesn’t count. She couldn’t tell the story without explaining that she objected to being kissed, could she? And all the women would think her a fool and the men think her a bore. And you need not be afraid that Gerald won’t be my heir. I needn’t tell you I have not the slightest intention of marrying.

Mrs Arbuthnot You come too late. My son has no need of you. You are not necessary.

Lord Illingworth What do you mean, Rachel?

Mrs Arbuthnot That you are not necessary° to Gerald’s career. He does not require you.

Lord Illingworth I do not understand you.

Mrs Arbuthnot Look into the garden. (Lord Illingworth rises and goes towards window) You had better not let them see you: you bring unpleasant memories. (Lord Illingworth looks out and starts) She loves him. They love each other. We are safe from you, and we are going away.

Lord Illingworth Where?

Mrs Arbuthnot We will not tell you, and if you find us we will not know you. You seem surprised. What welcome would you get from the girl whose lips you tried to soil, from the boy whose life you have shamed, from the mother whose dishonour comes from you?

Lord Illingworth You have grown hard, Rachel.

Mrs Arbuthnot I was too weak once. It is well for me that I have changed.

Lord Illingworth I was very young at the time. We men know life too early.