Mrs Cheveley Oh, no! I can’t stand your English house-parties. In England people actually try to be brilliant at breakfast. That is so dreadful of them! Only dull people are brilliant at breakfast. And then the family skeleton is always reading family prayers.° My stay in England really depends on you, Sir Robert. (Sits down on the sofa)

Sir Robert Chiltern (taking a seat beside her) Seriously?

Mrs Cheveley Quite seriously. I want to talk to you about a great political and financial scheme, about this Argentine Canal Company,° in fact.

Sir Robert Chiltern What a tedious, practical subject for you to talk about, Mrs Cheveley!

Mrs Cheveley Oh, I like tedious, practical subjects. What I don’t like are tedious, practical people. There is a wide difference. Besides, you are interested, I know, in International Canal schemes. You were Lord Radley’s secretary, weren’t you, when the Government bought the Suez Canal° shares?

Sir Robert Chiltern Yes. But the Suez Canal was a very great and splendid undertaking. It gave us our direct route to India. It had imperial value. It was necessary that we should have control. This Argentine scheme is a commonplace Stock Exchange swindle.

Mrs Cheveley A speculation, Sir Robert! A brilliant, daring speculation.

Sir Robert Chiltern Believe me, Mrs Cheveley, it is a swindle. Let us call things by their proper names. It makes matters simpler. We have all the information about it at the Foreign Office. In fact, I sent out a special Commission to inquire into the matter privately, and they report that the works are hardly begun, and as for the money already subscribed, no one seems to know what has become of it. The whole thing is a second Panama, and with not a quarter of the chance of success that miserable affair ever had. I hope you have not invested in it. I am sure you are far too clever to have done that.

Mrs Cheveley I have invested very largely in it.

Sir Robert Chiltern Who could have advised you to do such a foolish thing?

Mrs Cheveley Your old friend—and mine.

Sir Robert Chiltern Who?

Mrs Cheveley Baron Arnheim.

Sir Robert Chiltern (frowning) Ah! yes. I remember hearing, at the time of his death, that he had been mixed up in the whole affair.

Mrs Cheveley It was his last romance. His last but one, to do him justice.

Sir Robert Chiltern (rising) But you have not seen my Corots° yet. They are in the music-room. Corots seem to go with music, don’t they? May I show them to you?

Mrs Cheveley (shaking her head) I am not in a mood tonight for silver twilights, or rose-pink dawns. I want to talk business.

(Motions to him with her fan to sit down again beside her)

Sir Robert Chiltern I fear I have no advice to give you, Mrs Cheveley, except to interest yourself in something less dangerous. The success of the Canal depends, of course, on the attitude of England, and I am going to lay the report of the Commissioners before the House tomorrow night.