Mrs Cheveley Except the people!

Lady Markby Perhaps the people are a little jaded. I have often observed that the Season° as it goes on produces a kind of softening of the brain. However, I think anything is better than high intellectual pressure. That is the most unbecoming thing there is. It makes the noses of the young girls so particularly large. And there is nothing so difficult to marry as a large nose; men don’t like them. Good night, dear! (To Lady Chiltern) Good night, Gertrude!

Goes out on Lord Caversham’s arm

Mrs Cheveley What a charming house you have, Lady Chiltern! I have spent a delightful evening. It has been so interesting getting to know your husband.

Lady Chiltern Why did you wish to meet my husband, Mrs Cheveley?

Mrs Cheveley Oh, I will tell you. I wanted to interest him in this Argentine Canal scheme, of which I dare say you have heard. And I found him most susceptible,—susceptible to reason, I mean. A rare thing in a man. I converted him in ten minutes. He is going to make a speech in the House tomorrow night in favour of the idea. We must go to the Ladies’ Gallery and hear him! It will be a great occasion!

Lady Chiltern There must be some mistake. That scheme could never have my husband’s support.

Mrs Cheveley Oh, I assure you it’s all settled. I don’t regret my tedious journey from Vienna now. It has been a great success. But, of course, for the next twenty-four hours the whole thing is a dead secret.

Lady Chiltern (gently) A secret? Between whom?

Mrs Cheveley (with a flash of amusement in her eyes) Between your husband and myself.

Enter Sir Robert Chiltern

Sir Robert Chiltern Your carriage is here, Mrs Cheveley!

Mrs Cheveley Thanks! Good evening, Lady Chiltern! Good night, Lord Goring! I am at Claridge’s.° Don’t you think you might leave a card?

Lord Goring If you wish, Mrs Cheveley!

Mrs Cheveley Oh, don’t be so solemn about it, or I shall be obliged to leave a card on you. In England I suppose that would hardly be considered en règle.° Abroad, we are more civilized. Will you see me down, Sir Robert? Now that we have both the same interests at heart we shall be great friends, I hope!

Sails out on Sir Robert Chiltern’s arm. Lady Chiltern goes to the top of the staircase° and looks down at them as they descend. Her expression is troubled. After a little time she is joined by some of the guests, and passes with them into another reception-room

Mabel Chiltern What a horrid woman!

Lord Goring You should go to bed, Miss Mabel.

Mabel Chiltern Lord Goring!

Lord Goring My father told me to go to bed an hour ago. I don’t see why I shouldn’t give you the same advice. I always pass on good advice. It is the only thing to do with it. It is never of any use to oneself.

Mabel Chiltern Lord Goring, you are always ordering me out of the room. I think it most courageous of you. Especially as I am not going to bed for hours. (Goes over to the sofa) You can come and sit down