Sir Robert Chiltern Mrs Cheveley? I seem to know the name.

Lady Markby She has just arrived from Vienna.

Sir Robert Chiltern: Ah! yes. I think I know whom you mean.

Lady Markby Oh! she goes everywhere there, and has such pleasant scandals about all her friends. I really must go to Vienna next winter. I hope there is a good chef° at the Embassy.

Sir Robert Chiltern If there is not, the Ambassador will certainly have to be recalled. Pray point out Mrs Cheveley to me. I should like to see her.

Lady Markby Let me introduce you. (To Mrs Cheveley) My dear, Sir Robert Chiltern is dying to know you!

Sir Robert Chiltern (bowing) Every one is dying to know the brilliant Mrs Cheveley. Our attachés at Vienna write to us about nothing else.

Mrs Cheveley Thank you, Sir Robert. An acquaintance that begins with a compliment is sure to develop into a real friendship. It starts in the right manner. And I find that I know Lady Chiltern already.

Sir Robert Chiltern Really?

Mrs Cheveley Yes. She has just reminded me that we were at school together. I remember it perfectly now. She always got the good conduct prize. I have a distinct recollection of Lady Chiltern always getting the good conduct prize!

Sir Robert Chiltern (smiling) And what prizes did you get, Mrs Cheveley?

Mrs Cheveley My prizes came a little later on in life. I don’t think any of them were for good conduct. I forget!

Sir Robert Chiltern I am sure they were for something charming!

Mrs Cheveley I don’t know that women are always rewarded for being charming. I think they are usually punished for it! Certainly, more women grow old nowadays through the faithfulness of their admirers than through anything else! At least that is the only way I can account for the terribly haggard look of most of your pretty women in London!

Sir Robert Chiltern What an appalling philosophy that sounds! To attempt to classify you, Mrs Cheveley, would be an impertinence. But may I ask, at heart, are you an optimist or a pessimist? Those seem to be the only two fashionable religions left to us nowadays.

Mrs Cheveley Oh, I’m neither. Optimism begins in a broad grin, and Pessimism ends with blue spectacles.° Besides, they are both of them merely poses.

Sir Robert Chiltern You prefer to be natural?

Mrs Cheveley Sometimes. But it is such a very difficult pose to keep up.

Sir Robert Chiltern What would those modern psychological novelists, of whom we hear so much, say to such a theory as that?

Mrs Cheveley Ah! the strength of women comes from the fact that psychology cannot explain us. Men can be analysed, women… merely adored.

Sir Robert Chiltern You think science cannot grapple with the problem of women?