Lady Markby And a very good thing too, dear, I dare say. It might break up many a happy home if they did. Not yours, I need hardly say, Gertrude. You have married a pattern husband. I wish I could say as much for myself. But since Sir John has taken to attending the debates regularly, which he never used to do in the good old days, his language has become quite impossible. He always seems to think that he is addressing the House, and consequently whenever he discusses the state of the agricultural labourer, or the Welsh Church,° or something quite improper of that kind, I am obliged to send all the servants out of the room. It is not pleasant to see one’s own butler, who has been with one for twenty- three years, actually blushing at the side board, and the footmen making contortions in corners like persons in circuses. I assure you my life will be quite ruined unless they send John at once to the Upper House.° He won’t take any interest in politics then, will he? The House of Lords is so sensible.° An assembly of gentlemen. But in his present state, Sir John is really a great trial. Why, this morning before breakfast was half over, he stood up on the hearthrug, put his hands in his pockets, and appealed to the country at the top of his voice. I left the table as soon as I had my second cup of tea, I need hardly say. But his violent language could be heard all over the house! I trust, Gertrude, that Sir Robert is not like that?

Lady Chiltern But I am very much interested in politics, Lady Markby. I love to hear Robert talk about them.

Lady Markby Well, I hope he is not as devoted to Blue Books° as Sir John is. I don’t think they can be quite improving reading for anyone.

Mrs Cheveley (languidly) I have never read a Blue Book. I prefer books … in yellow covers.°

Lady Markby (genially unconscious) Yellow is a gayer colour, is it not? I used to wear yellow a good deal in my early days, and would do so now if Sir John was not so painfully personal in his observations, and a man on the question of dress is always ridiculous, is he not?

Mrs Cheveley Oh, no! I think men are the only authorities on dress.

Lady Markby Really? One wouldn’t say so from the sort of hats they wear, would one?

The butler enters,° followed by the footman. Tea is set on a small table close to Lady Chiltern

Lady Chiltern May I give you some tea, Mrs Cheveley?

Mrs Cheveley Thanks.

The butler hands Mrs Cheveley a cup of tea on a salver

Lady Chiltern Some tea, Lady Markby?

Lady Markby No thanks, dear.

The servants go out.

The fact is, I have promised to go round for ten minutes to see poor Lady Brancaster, who is in very great trouble. Her daughter, quite a well-brought-up girl, too, has actually become engaged to be married to a curate in Shropshire. It is very sad, very sad indeed. I can’t understand this modern mania for curates. In my time we girls saw them, of course, running about the place like rabbits. But we never took any notice of them, I need hardly say. But I am told that nowadays country society is quite honeycombed with them. I think it most irreligious. And then the eldest son has quarrelled with his father, and it is said that when they meet at the club Lord Brancaster always hides himself behind the money article in The Times. However, I believe that is quite a common occurrence nowadays and that they have to take in extra copies of The Times at all the clubs in St James’s Street; there are so many sons who won’t have anything to do with their fathers, and so many fathers who won’t speak to their sons. I think, myself, it is very much to be regretted.