Lord Goring Nothing. But, my dear Lady Chiltern, I think, if you will allow me to say so, that in practical life—

Lady Chiltern (smiling) Of which you know so little, Lord Goring—

Lord Goring Of which I know nothing by experience, though I know something by observation. I think that in practical life there is something about success, actual success, that is a little unscrupulous, something about ambition that is unscrupulous always. Once a man has set his heart and soul on getting to a certain point, if he has to climb the crag, he climbs the crag; if he has to walk in the mire—

Lady Chiltern Well?

Lord Goring He walks in the mire. Of course I am only talking generally about life.

Lady Chiltern (gravely) I hope so. Why do you look at me so strangely, Lord Goring?

Lord Goring Lady Chiltern, I have sometimes thought that … perhaps you are a little hard in some of your views on life. I think that … often you don’t make sufficient allowances. In every nature there are elements of weakness, or worse than weakness. Supposing, for instance, that—that any public man, my father, or Lord Merton, or Robert, say, had, years ago, written some foolish letter to someone…

Lady Chiltern What do you mean by a foolish letter?

Lord Goring A letter gravely compromising one’s position. I am only putting an imaginary case.

Lady Chiltern Robert is as incapable of doing a foolish thing as he is of doing a wrong thing.

[A long pause]

Lord Goring Nobody is incapable of doing a foolish thing. Nobody is incapable of doing a wrong thing.°

Lady Chiltern Are you a Pessimist? What will the other dandies say? They will all have to go into mourning.

Lord Goring (rising) No, Lady Chiltern, I am not a Pessimist. Indeed I am not sure that I quite know what Pessimism really means. All I do know is that life cannot be understood without much charity, cannot be lived without much charity. It is love, and not German philosophy, that is the true explanation of this world, whatever may be the explanation of the next. And if you are ever in trouble, Lady Chiltern, trust me absolutely, and I will help you in every way I can. If you ever want me, come to me for my assistance, and you shall have it. Come at once to me.

Lady Chiltern (looking at him in surprise) Lord Goring, you are talking quite seriously. I don’t think I ever heard you talk seriously before.

Lord Goring (laughing) You must excuse me, Lady Chiltern. It won’t occur again, if I can help it.

Lady Chiltern But I like you to be serious.

Enter Mabel Chiltern, in the most ravishing frock°

Mabel Chiltern Dear Gertrude, don’t say such a dreadful thing to Lord Goring. Seriousness would be very unbecoming to him. Good afternoon, Lord Goring!° Pray be as trivial as you can.

Lord Goring I should like to, Miss Mabel, but I am afraid I am … a little out of practice this morning; and besides, I have to be going now.

Mabel Chiltern Just when I have come in! What dreadful manners you have! I am sure you were very badly brought up.