Lord Goring Robert, I swear to you on my honour that that lady is stainless and guiltless of all offence towards you.

Sir Robert Chiltern She is a vile, an infamous thing!

Lord Goring Don’t say that, Robert! It was for your sake she came here. It was to try and save you she came here. She loves you and no one else.

Sir Robert Chiltern You are mad. What have I to do with her intrigues with you? Let her remain your mistress! You are well suited to each other. She, corrupt and shameful—you, false as a friend, treacherous as an enemy even—

Lord Goring It is not true, Robert. Before heaven, it is not true. In her presence and in yours I will explain all.

Sir Robert Chiltern Let me pass, sir. You have lied enough upon your word of honour.

Sir Robert Chiltern goes out. Lord Goring rushes to the door of the drawing-room, when Mrs Cheveley comes out, looking radiant and much amused

Mrs Cheveley (with a mock curtsey) Good evening, Lord Goring!

Lord Goring Mrs Cheveley! Great heavens!… May I ask what you were doing in my drawing-room?

Mrs Cheveley Merely listening. I have a perfect passion for listening through keyholes. One always hears such wonderful things through them.

Lord Goring Doesn’t that sound rather like tempting Providence?

Mrs Cheveley Oh! surely Providence can resist temptation by this time.

Makes a sign to him to take her cloak off, which he does°

Lord Goring I am glad you have called. I am going to give you some good advice.

Mrs Cheveley Oh! pray don’t. One should never give a woman anything that she can’t wear in the evening.

Lord Goring I see you are quite as wilful as you used to be.

Mrs Cheveley Far more! I have greatly improved. I have had more experience.

Lord Goring Too much experience is a dangerous thing. Pray have a cigarette. Half the pretty women in London smoke cigarettes. Personally I prefer the other half.

Mrs Cheveley Thanks. I never smoke. My dressmaker wouldn’t like it, and a woman’s first duty in life is to her dressmaker, isn’t it? What the second duty is, no one has as yet discovered.

Lord Goring You have come here to sell me Robert Chiltern’s letter, haven’t you?

Mrs Cheveley To offer it to you on conditions. How did you guess that?

Lord Goring Because you haven’t mentioned the subject. Have you got it with you?

Mrs Cheveley (sitting down) Oh, no! A well-made dress has no pockets.

Lord Goring What is your price for it?