Mabel Chiltern Oh! I hope you are not going to leave me all alone with Lord Goring? Especially at such an early hour in the day.

Lord Caversham I am afraid I can’t take him with me to Downing Street.° It is not the Prime Minister’s day for seeing the unemployed.

Shakes hands with Mabel Chiltern, takes up his hat and stick, and goes out, with a parting glare of indignation at Lord Goring

Mabel Chiltern (takes up roses° and begins to arrange them in a bowl on the table) People who don’t keep their appointments in the Park are horrid.

Lord Goring Detestable.

Mabel Chiltern I am glad you admit it. But I wish you wouldn’t look so pleased about it.

Lord Goring I can’t help it. I always look pleased when I am with you.

Mabel Chiltern (sadly) Then I suppose it is my duty to remain with you?

Lord Goring Of course it is.

Mabel Chiltern Well, my duty is a thing I never do, on principle. It always depresses me. So I am afraid I must leave you.

Lord Goring Please don’t, Miss Mabel. I have something very particular to say to you.

Mabel Chiltern (rapturously) Oh, is it a proposal?°

Lord Goring (somewhat taken aback) Well, yes, it is—I am bound to say it is.

Mabel Chiltern (with a sigh of pleasure) I am so glad. That makes the second today.

Lord Goring (indignantly) The second today? What conceited ass has been impertinent enough to dare to propose to you before I had proposed to you?

Mabel Chiltern Tommy Trafford, of course. It is one of Tommy’s day for proposing. He always proposes on Tuesdays and Thursdays, during the season.

Lord Goring You didn’t accept him, I hope?

Mabel Chiltern I make it a rule never to accept Tommy. That is why he goes on proposing. Of course, as you didn’t turn up this morning, I very nearly said yes. It would have been an excellent lesson both for him and for you if I had. It would have taught you both better manners.

Lord Goring Oh! bother Tommy Trafford. Tommy is a silly little ass. I love you.

Mabel Chiltern I know. And I think you might have mentioned it before. I am sure I have given you heaps of opportunities.

Lord Goring Mabel, do be serious. Please be serious.

Mabel Chiltern Ah! that is the sort of thing a man always says to a girl before he has been married to her. He never says it afterwards.

Lord Goring (taking hold of her hand) Mabel, I have told you that I love you. Can’t you love me a little in return?