Algernon He’s gone to order the dog-cart for me.

Cecily Oh, is he going to take you for a nice drive?

Algernon He’s going to send me away.

Cecily Then have we got to part?

Algernon I am afraid so. It’s a very painful parting.

Cecily It is always painful to part from people whom one has known for a very brief space of time. The absence of old friends one can endure with equanimity. But even a momentary separation from anyone to whom one has just been introduced is almost unbearable.

Algernon Thank you.

Enter Merriman

Merriman The dog-cart is at the door, sir.

Algernon looks appealingly° at Cecily

Cecily It can wait, Merriman … for … five minutes.

Merriman Yes, miss.

Exit Merriman

Algernon I hope, Cecily, I shall not offend you if I state quite frankly and openly that you seem to me to be in every way the visible personification of absolute perfection.

Cecily I think your frankness does you great credit, Ernest. If you will allow me, I will copy your remarks into my diary. (Goes over to table and begins writing in diary)

Algernon Do you really keep a diary? I’d give anything to look at it. May I?

Cecily Oh no. (Puts her hand over it) You see, it is simply a very young girl’s record of her own thoughts and impressions, and consequently meant for publication. When it appears in volume form I hope you will order a copy. But pray, Ernest, don’t stop. I delight in taking down from dictation. I have reached ‘absolute perfection.’ You can go on. I am quite ready for more.

Algernon (somewhat taken aback) Ahem! Ahem!

Cecily Oh, don’t cough, Ernest. When one is dictating one should speak fluently and not cough. Besides, I don’t know how to spell a cough. (Writes as Algernon speaks)

Algernon (speaking very rapidly) Cecily, ever since I first looked upon your wonderful and incomparable beauty, I have dared to love you wildly, passionately, devotedly, hopelessly.

Cecily I don’t think that you should tell me that you love me wildly, passionately, devotedly, hopelessly. Hopelessly doesn’t seem to make much sense, does it?

Algernon Cecily!

Enter Merriman

Merriman The dog-cart is waiting, sir.