Cecily My sweet wronged Gwendolen!

Gwendolen (slowly and seriously) You will call me sister, will you not?

They embrace. Jack and Algernon groan and walk up and down

Cecily (rather brightly) There is just one question I would like to be allowed to ask my guardian.

Gwendolen An admirable idea! Mr Worthing, there is just one question I would like to be permitted to put to you. Where is your brother Ernest? We are both engaged to be married to your brother Ernest, so it is a matter of some importance to us to know where your brother Ernest is at present.

Jack (slowly and hesitatingly) Gwendolen—Cecily—it is very painful for me to be forced to speak the truth. It is the first time in my life that I have ever been reduced to such a painful position, and I am really quite inexperienced in doing anything of the kind. However, I will tell you quite frankly that I have no brother Ernest. I have no brother at all. I never had a brother in my life, and I certainly have not the smallest intention of ever having one in the future.

Cecily (surprised) No brother at all?

Jack (cheerily) None!

Gwendolen (severely) Had you never a brother of any kind?

Jack (pleasantly) Never. Not even of any kind.

Gwendolen I am afraid it is quite clear, Cecily, that neither of us is engaged to be married to anyone.

Cecily It is not a very pleasant position for a young girl suddenly to find herself in. Is it?

Gwendolen Let us go into the house. They will hardly venture to come after us there.

Cecily No, men are so cowardly, aren’t they?

They retire into the house° with scornful looks

Jack This ghastly state of things is what you call Bunburying, I suppose?

Algernon Yes, and a perfectly wonderful Bunbury it is. The most wonderful Bunbury I have ever had in my life.

Jack Well, you’ve no right whatsoever to Bunbury here.

Algernon That is absurd. One has a right to Bunbury anywhere one chooses. Every serious Bunburyist knows that.

Jack Serious Bunburyist! Good heavens!

Algernon Well, one must be serious about something, if one wants to have any amusement in life. I happen to be serious about Bunburying. What on earth you are serious about I haven’t got the remotest idea. About everything, I should fancy. You have such an absolutely trivial nature.

Jack Well, the only small satisfaction I have in the whole of this wretched business is that your friend Bunbury is quite exploded. You won’t be able to run down to the country quite so often as you used to do, dear Algy. And a very good thing too.