Cecily Oh! I don’t think I would care to catch a sensible man. I shouldn’t know what to talk to him about.

They pass into the house. Miss Prism and Dr Chasuble return°

Miss Prism You are too much alone, dear Dr Chasuble. You should get married. A misanthrope I can understand—a womanthrope,° never!

Chasuble (with a scholar’s shudder) Believe me, I do not deserve so neologistic° a phrase. The precept as well as the practice of the Primitive° Church was distinctly against matrimony.

Miss Prism (sententiously) That is obviously the reason why the Primitive Church has not lasted up to the present day. And you do not seem to realize, dear Doctor, that by persistently remaining single, a man converts himself into a permanent public temptation. Men should be more careful; this very celibacy leads weaker vessels astray.

Chasuble But is a man not equally attractive when married?

Miss Prism No married man is ever attractive except to his wife.

Chasuble And often, I’ve been told, not even to her.°

Miss Prism That depends on the intellectual sympathies of the woman. Maturity can always be depended on. Ripeness can be trusted. Young women are green. (Dr Chasuble starts)° I spoke horticulturally. My metaphor was drawn from fruits. But where is Cecily?

Chasuble Perhaps she followed us to the schools.

Enter Jack slowly° from the back of the garden. He is dressed in the deepest mourning, with crape hatband and black gloves

Miss Prism Mr Worthing!

Chasuble Mr Worthing?

Miss Prism This is indeed a surprise. We did not look for you till Monday afternoon.

Jack (shakes Miss Prism’s hand in a tragic manner) I have returned sooner than I expected. Dr Chasuble, I hope you are well?

Chasuble Dear Mr Worthing, I trust this garb of woe does not betoken some terrible calamity?

Jack My brother.

Miss Prism More shameful debts and extravagance?

Chasuble Still leading his life of pleasure?

Jack (shaking his head) Dead!

Chasuble Your brother Ernest dead?

Jack Quite dead.

Miss Prism What a lesson for him! I trust he will profit by it.

Chasuble Mr Worthing, I offer you my sincere condolence. You have at least the consolation of knowing that you are always the most generous and forgiving of brothers.