Jack Poor Ernest!° He had many faults, but it is a sad, sad blow.

Chasuble Very sad indeed. Were you with him at the end?

Jack No. He died abroad; in Paris, in fact. I had a telegram last night from the manager of the Grand Hotel.°

Chasuble Was the cause of death mentioned?

Jack A severe chill, it seems.

Miss Prism As a man sows, so shall he reap.

Chasuble (raising his hand) Charity, dear Miss Prism, charity! None of us are perfect. I myself am peculiarly susceptible to draughts. Will the interment take place here?

Jack No. He seems to have expressed a desire to be buried in Paris.

Chasuble In Paris! (Shakes his head) I fear that hardly points to any very serious state of mind at the last. You would no doubt wish me to make some slight allusion to this tragic domestic affliction next Sunday. (Jack presses his hand convulsively) My sermon on the meaning of the manna° in the wilderness can be adapted to almost any occasion, joyful, or, as in the present case, distressing. (All sigh) I have preached it at harvest celebrations, christenings, confirmations, on days of humiliation and festal days. The last time I delivered it was in the Cathedral, as a charity sermon on behalf of the Society for the Prevention of Discontent among the Upper Orders. The Bishop, who was present, was much struck by some of the analogies I drew.

Jack Ah! that reminds me, you mentioned christenings I think, Dr Chasuble? I suppose you know how to christen all right? (Dr Chasuble looks astounded) I mean, of course, you are continually christening, aren’t you?

Miss Prism It is, I regret to say, one of the Rector’s most constant duties in this parish. I have often spoken to the poorer classes on the subject. But they don’t seem to know what thrift° is.

Chasuble But is there any particular infant in whom you are interested, Mr Worthing? Your brother was, I believe, unmarried, was he not?

Jack Oh yes.

Miss Prism (bitterly) People who live entirely for pleasure usually are.

Jack But it is not for any child, dear Doctor. I am very fond of children. No! the fact is, I would like to be christened myself, this afternoon, if you have nothing better to do.

Chasuble But surely, Mr Worthing, you have been christened already?

Jack I don’t remember anything about it.

Chasuble But have you any grave doubts on the subject?

Jack I certainly intend to have. Of course I don’t know if the thing would bother you in any way, or if you think I am a little too old now.

Chasuble Not at all. The sprinkling,° and, indeed, the immersion of adults is a perfectly canonical practice.

Jack Immersion!