to twenty at evening parties. Well, it will not be very long before you are of age and free from the restraints of tutelage. So I don’t think your guardian’s consent is, after all, a matter of any importance.

Jack Pray excuse me, Lady Bracknell, for interrupting you again, but it is only fair to tell you that according to the terms of her grandfather’s will Miss Cardew does not come legally of age till she is thirty-five.°

Lady Bracknell That does not seem to me to be a grave objection. Thirty-five is a very attractive age. London society is full of women of the very highest birth who have, of their own free choice, remained thirty-five for years. Lady Dumbleton is an instance in point. To my own knowledge she has been thirty- five ever since she arrived at the age of forty, which was many years ago now. I see no reason why our dear Cecily should not be even still more attractive at the age you mention than she is at present. There will be a large accumulation of property.

Cecily Algy, could you wait for me till I was thirty-five?

Algernon Of course I could, Cecily. You know I could.

Cecily Yes, I felt it instinctively, but I couldn’t wait all that time. I hate waiting even five minutes for anybody. It always makes me rather cross. I am not punctual myself, I know, but I do like punctuality in others, and waiting, even to be married, is quite out of the question.

Algernon Then what is to be done, Cecily?

Cecily I don’t know, Mr Moncrieff.°

Lady Bracknell My dear Mr Worthing, as Miss Cardew states positively that she cannot wait till she is thirty-five—a remark which I am bound to say seems to me to show a somewhat impatient nature—I would beg of you to reconsider your decision.

Jack But my dear Lady Bracknell, the matter is entirely in your own hands. The moment you consent to my marriage with Gwendolen, I will most gladly allow your nephew to form an alliance with my ward.

Lady Bracknell (rising and drawing herself up) You must be quite aware that what you propose is out of the question.

Jack Then a passionate celibacy° is all that any of us can look forward to.

Lady Bracknell That is not the destiny I propose for Gwendolen. Algernon, of course, can choose for himself. (Pulls out her watch) Come, dear (Gwendolen rises), we have already missed five, if not six, trains. To miss any more might expose us to comment on the platform.

Enter Dr Chasuble

Chasuble Everything is quite ready for the christenings.

Lady Bracknell The christenings, sir! Is not that somewhat premature?

Chasuble (looking rather puzzled, and pointing to Jack and Algernon) Both these gentlemen have expressed a desire for immediate baptism.

Lady Bracknell At their age? The idea is grotesque and irreligious! Algernon, I forbid you to be baptized. I will not hear of such excesses. Lord Bracknell would be highly displeased if he learned that that was the way in which you wasted your time and money.

Chasuble Am I to understand then that there are to be no christenings at all this afternoon?