without first asking leave. And lastly, wherever I am, you shall always knock at the door before you come in. These articles subscribed, if I continue to endure you a little longer, I may by degrees dwindle into a wife.

Mira. Your bill of fare is something advanced in this latter account. Well, have I liberty to offer conditions—that when you are dwindled into a wife, I may not be beyond measure enlarged into a husband?

Milla. You have free leave, propose your utmost, speak and spare not.

Mira. I thank you. Inprimis then, I covenant that your acquaintance be general; that you admit no sworn confident, or intimate of your own sex; no she friend to skreen her affairs under your countenance, and tempt you to make trial of a mutual secresie. No decoy-duck to wheadle you a fop— scrambling to the play in a mask—then bring you home in a pretended fright, when you think you shall be found out—and rail at me for missing the play, and disappointing the frolick which you had to pick me up and prove my constancy.

Milla. Detestable inprimis! I go to the play in a mask!

Mira. Item, I article, that you continue to like your own face as long as I shall: and while it passes currant with me, that you endeavour not to new coin it. To which end, together with all vizards for the day, I prohibit all masks for the night, made of oiled-skins and I know not what—hog’s bones, hare’s gall, pig water, and the marrow of a roasted cat. In short, I forbid all commerce with the gentlewoman in what- d’ ye-call-it Court. Item, I shut my doors against all bauds with baskets, and pennyworths of muslin, china, fans, atlasses, etc.—Item, when you shall be breeding—

Milla. Ah! name it not.

Mira. Which may be presumed, with a blessing on our endeavours—

Milla. Odious endeavours!

Mira. I denounce against all strait lacing, squeezing for a shape, ’till you mould my boy’s head like a sugar-loaf; and instead of a man-child, make me father to a crooked-billet. Lastly, to the dominion of the tea-table I submit.—But with proviso, that you exceed not in your province; but restrain yourself to native and simple tea-table drinks, as tea, chocolate, and coffee. As likewise to genuine and authorised tea- table talk—such as mending of fashions, spoiling reputations, railing at absent friends, and so forth—but that on no account you encroach upon the men’s prerogative, and presume to drink healths, or toast fellows; for prevention of which, I banish all foreign forces, all auxiliaries to the tea-table, as orange- brandy, all anniseed, cinamon, citron and Barbado’s-waters, together with ratafia and the most noble spirit of clary.—But for couslip-wine, poppy-water, and all dormitives, those I allow.—These provisos admitted, in other things I may prove a tractable and complying husband.

Milla. O horrid provisos! filthy strong waters! I toast fellows, odious men! I hate your odious provisos.

Mira. Then we’re agreed. Shall I kiss your hand upon the contract? and here comes one to be a witness to the sealing of the deed.

SCENE VI

[To them] Mrs. Fainall.

Milla. Fainall, what shall I do? Shall I have him? I think I must have him.

Mrs. Fain. Ay, ay, take him, take him, what should you do?