Shoem. ’Zbud, there’s never a man i’ the town lives more like a gentleman with his wife than I do. I never mind her motions, she never inquires into mine; we speak to one another civilly, hate one another heartily, and because ’tis vulgar to lie and soak together, we have each of us our several settle-bed.

Dor. Give him half-a-crown.

Med. Not without he will promise to be bloody drunk.

Shoem. Tope’s the word i’ the eye of the world, for my master’s honour, Robin.

Dor. Do not debauch my servants, sirrah.

Shoem. I only tip him the wink; he knows an alehouse from a hovel.

[Exit Shoemaker.

Dor. My clothes, quickly.

Med. Where shall we dine to-day?

Enter Bellair.

Dor. Where you will; here comes a good third man.

Bell. Your servant, gentlemen.

Med. Gentle sir, how will you answer this visit to your honourable mistress? ’Tis not her interest you should keep company with men of sense, who will be talking reason.

Bell. I do not fear her pardon, do you but grant me yours for my neglect of late.

Med. Though you’ve made us miserable by the want of your good company, to show you I am free from all resentment, may the beautiful cause of our misfortune give you all the joys happy lovers have shared ever since the world began.

Bell. You wish me in heaven, but you believe me on my journey to hell.

Med. You have a good strong faith, and that may contribute much towards your salvation. I confess I am but of an untoward constitution, apt to have doubts and scruples, and in love they are no less distracting than in religion; were I so near marriage, I should cry out by fits as I ride in my coach, Cuckold, Cuckold, with no less fury than the mad fanatic does Glory in Bedlam.

Bell. Because religion makes some run mad, must I live an atheist?

Med. Is it not great indiscretion for a man of credit, who may have money enough on his word, to go and deal with Jews who for little sums make men enter into bonds and give judgments?

Bell. Preach no more on this text, I am determined, and there is no hope of my conversion.

Dor. [to Handy, who is fiddling about him]. Leave your unnecessary fiddling; a wasp that’s buzzing about a man’s nose at dinner is not more troublesome than thou art.

Handy. You love to have your clothes hang just, sir.

Dor. I love to be well dressed, sir; and think it no scandal to my understanding.

Handy. Will you use the essence, or orange-flower water?